As some of you know I moved back East to the Philadelphia area to be closer to friends and family. I've decided to re-start this blog because I realized I truly missed it and it brought me fulfillment. Plus, two good friends mentioned it within 24 hours of each other, which makes me think that the Universe is guiding me to do it.
My life in Southern California was wonderful, with many opportunities I never imagined for myself coming to fruition. I had moved to California to pursue my dream of being a television actor and on my journey I became a Casting Assistant for Film and Television. It brought me to many different locations, meeting interesting, amazing people and working in the industry I always dreamed of, but I felt very lonely. The ache of not being around the people who had always been there for me was something I couldn't have fathomed before the move.
I was sure that the pursuit of my dream would fulfill the hole I had in my heart and it did for a while. I was part of the Knightsbridge Theatre where I met some of the funniest, hard working people in the industry. I was going on auditions at least once a month which was a win for me. Then I received the serendipitous opportunity to work in Casting. I enjoyed being in Casting and I was good at it, but over time the hours and big projects kept me from taking auditions. I also wasn't good at budgeting my time so that I could talk to all my family and friends out East. My thoughts became very self absorbed, angry and unhappy. How could that be? I was living the dream, right? Yes. Yes I was. It wasn't enough.
I yearned to be around my brother and sister, hanging out like we do. I yearned to live close enough to Tim, Caitlin, Jason and Megan so that we could drive to each other. I yearned to see Bonnie. I yearned to see her daughter Jolee grow up. I yearned to go out on the town in NYC with Kimmie and Jen eating our fill of delicious food and going to a show. I yearned for the camaraderie of hanging out with my college besties Heather and Annie, laughing and talking. I yearned for tea time with Valerie. I yearned for homemade dessert with Barb and Jim. I yearned most of all for the comfort and love that I get from all of them. I didn't make the decision lightly, because I felt guilty leaving my Mom, Dad, Aunt, cousins, friends and colleagues I had grown close to while living there because they brought me such joy, laughter, aggravation and most of all love.
I have been back for 4 months now and I am trying to find my feet in this market. The opportunities for entertainment jobs aren't as fruitful as NY or L.A., but they are here. I am slowly meeting more and more people here and trying to figure out where I belong. As I move through the uncertainty I have a phenomenally strong circle of friends that I see regularly and keep me sane. This has been the best transition so far, because I literally feel as if my heart is singing. I am surrounded with so much love and humor I feel very grateful for my life, because I truly feel I am home.