It has been over two years since I posted on this blog and it is crazy on how time flies when you aren't really paying attention. I have lived in California for almost 6 years now, and truly made a home for myself here. An actual place of living I always looked forward to coming home to. I am a little embarrassed to say I never gave myself the opportunity before to "be at home". I was always looking outside myself for comfort, validation and happiness.
In about 10 days, I am making the move back to the East Coast and I am excited and nervous. For a nano-second old memories of who I was then resurface and make me question the move. My old habits of thinking that the only jobs available to me are ones that suck my soul, grab at my heart and then I hear myself say, "That's not true"and I know that I have changed.
I have met really great souls in California, first, Wan-Jen, then, Rickie and Megan and their awesome dogs, Bo and Bailey. I have reconnected with my Aunt and my cousins who I only knew in passing and now I truly would do anything for them, if they asked. As I pack and donate things waves of emotion and memory flow through me. It has been a glorious journey.
I visualize my life back East and it is filled with more love and connection than I ever gave it credit for. I know that my life in California was to fully grasp and understand that no matter where I live, I am loved, cared for and rooted for and vice versa. It took me almost 40 years to realize that I thrive on camaraderie, closeness to the ones I love and creativity.
My life here on the West Coast has been filled with creativity, camaraderie and closeness to the ones I love and leaving here is bittersweet, but I know I have people to come back to and that makes me happy. Going back East, also makes me happy because that is my home in my heart, where I truly feel understood and accepted. I don't know where the road is leading me, but I am excited and grateful that I get to keep walking the trail. It truly feels as if I am walking the Yellow Brick Road with my trusty friends and companions and that makes me smile, because at the end of the day, "There is no place like home."