Sunday, December 4, 2011

The Little Things in the Grand Scheme

Hi Everyone,

Oh boy!!! I can't stop laughing at myself!  I just had my first stage combat audition for Cyrano de Bergerac and I did awful, but I can't stop laughing about it!  Last year at this time, I would have been beating myself up over the failed audition, but tonight, I can't stop laughing about it and being joyful to even have the opportunity.  I took fencing in college, which really means that I stood with an epee in the en garde position most of the time and moved back and forth one or two steps depending if I was winning or not.  Most of the time, I was not because I didn't take it seriously enough and would giggle when someone "got" me.

Tonight I just had the urge to enjoy myself, no matter what.  So in the two hour span I got to catch up with friends I haven't seen in a while and I got to meet new people.  Also, I got to fake sword fight without hurting anyone even though my partner and I looked like we were going to hurt ourselves unintentionally LOL!

I feel as if I have turned into someone else.  As I mentioned yesterday, happiness and gratitude are a new concept for me.  I don't always have to be smiling to be happy.   I don't always have to be doing something to be happy.  I don't always have to succeed to be happy.  I just think a wonderful thought about myself and it makes me feel full.  Makes me feel that this moment is all I need.  I don't feel that all the time, but when I consciously make the effort to do so, I feel like this is it and it's a good place to be.  There have been so many wonderful things happening to family members, friends and friends of friends that has renewed my faith in the little things.  None of us know what one little thing will turn into that can change your life forever and I have been hearing and witnessing stories of this kind in droves in the past 6 months and it is so inspiring and hopeful!!!!

I don't know if I will get a role in the play, but I had a wonderful time auditioning for it and I haven't been able to say that in a loooonnnng time.  In the grand scheme of things I don't know what this experience means, but it could be the start of something wonderful!!!!  Stay tuned!

All my love,

Tara

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