I have a little grin on my face as I sit here, trying to put the thoughts I have in my head onto the screen in front of me. I am grateful. Plain and simple. I was talking to my friend Aida, today and we were so thrilled to be where we are right at this moment. We both were in NYC working together at a perfectly fine restaurant trying to make it as an actor, but it didn't feel right. Then we both move to L.A. and we are getting things done, we are getting feedback, we are making things happen for us. It is like night and day the differences between our lives 2 years ago compared to today.
Happiness is a foreign concept to me. It has always been something that is God-like or it must be what heaven is. As a child, teenager and young adult I always prayed for things I wanted, things I set out to do assuming it was something that if I was a good enough person I would be deserving of, it wasn't until after my Peace Corps experience and my struggle with failure that I began to change my prayers. Maybe if I say thank you for all the things I have and maybe if I thank God for the life I long to lead, or thank Him for my future I see in my head, maybe just maybe I will feel as if it will come true. By reciting those prayers of thanks, my dark cloud became grey and then even white and for the first time in my life, I felt a spark of happiness. Happiness isn't something others give me, it is a gift I give myself. This week I lost my way a bit, but I have been quick enough to understand that and I am feeling more grateful by the day. Thank you!!!!
All my love,