Tonight in class, Brad made us do the "mirror" exercise. It is when we sit in front of a "mirror" we have made up in our imaginations and just be for 3 minutes. It is an exercise that gets actors to understand their fears. I remember doing it in conservatory and that first time, I didn't understand how I was going to "be". I was thinking of all different scenarios that would be funny or dramatic and instead it ended up just feeling awkward and insincere. I like this exercise.
When I went up to do the exercise I didn't have a scenario in my head, but in the few moments that I just relaxed and let it be, my imagination came up with the scenario that I was waiting to go on a double date with my sister. Automatically as I looked in the "mirror" I began comparing how more beautiful I think my sister is to me. How I compare. For three minutes I did this and by the end I didn't want to look in the "mirror" anymore. When the exercise was over, Brad was quiet for a long time. "Where were you?" he asked, I didn't compute that he meant literally. I replied, "Far away."
"Who were you talking to?"
"You said that she would look beautiful anyway, do you think she is beautiful?"
"And you aren't?"
"Is she older than you?"
"You let yourself alone and you made a choice to not look in the mirror, but you did it in such an organic way that we were compelled to follow along with you. There was nothing forced, there was just you and that was a strong choice you made. Well done."
Funny thing is that because I let myself think those thoughts and feel those emotions it took me a bit to get out of that haze and see what he meant. I watch some of these actors who are so uncomfortable, they couldn't do the exercise for one minute and I remember just how far I have come in letting people see my vulnerability. That is a huge thing for me. I might not be able to be vulnerable in my real life, but I feel as if I have hit a milestone by being vulnerable in my craft. I have only had two classes with Brad so far, but they have been tremendous toward my confidence in my acting ability and I am very grateful.
Until tomorrow. Take care and be safe.
All my love,