Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Picking Up the Ends

Hi Everyone,

Things happen for a reason.  For instance today my gas light went on and I wanted to make it to "my" gas station, but at the last minute I decided to turn into the closest one.  It was a good thing too, because when I passed my gas station, it was all blocked off because of a leak.  I probably would have been stranded 100 yards from my apartment if I had waited and tried to go to "my" station.

I had a lot to do today.  I had to fax things to the DMV because the dealership never took my name off a Toyota, that I never bought and I got a notice that I was past due on my registration that doesn't even exist.  Plus my friend, Kimmie comes in tomorrow and I had to clean my room, do my laundry, go to the grocery store, plan and get directions to places for tomorrow and all of that hubbub that goes along with visitors.

For class next week we have to recite a song as if it is a monologue, and I picked U2's One and I am having a hard time not singing it.  It is pretty amusing, but I have a feeling I am going to be obsessed over doing it as a monologue all week.  I also have to pick a scene for class that is 5 minutes from our favorite comedy tv show or movie.  I want to do a scene from When Harry Met Sally and it is really hard to find a scene that is only 5 minutes because the dialogue is so good, I don't want to end the scenes, but alas I do.

What are some of your favorite comedy movies or shows?

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Hello Everyone,

Tonight in class, Brad made us do the "mirror" exercise.  It is when we sit in front of a "mirror" we have made up in our imaginations and just be for 3 minutes.  It is an exercise that gets actors to understand their fears.  I remember doing it in conservatory and that first time, I didn't understand how I was going to "be".  I was thinking of all different scenarios that would be funny or dramatic and instead it ended up just feeling awkward and insincere.  I like this exercise.

When I went up to do the exercise I didn't have a scenario  in my head, but in the few moments that I just relaxed and let it be, my imagination came up with the scenario that I was waiting to go on a double date with my sister.  Automatically as I looked in the "mirror" I began comparing how more beautiful I think my sister is to me.  How I compare.  For three minutes I did this and by the end I didn't want to look in the "mirror" anymore.  When the exercise was over, Brad was quiet for a long time.  "Where were you?" he asked, I didn't compute that he meant literally.  I replied, "Far away."

"Who were you talking to?"

"My sister."

"You said that she would look beautiful anyway, do you think she is beautiful?"

"Yes."

"And you aren't?"

"Beautiful? No."

"Is she older than you?"

"No."

"You let yourself alone and you made a choice to not look in the mirror, but you did it in such an organic way that we were compelled to follow along with you.  There was nothing forced, there was just you and that was a strong choice you made.  Well done."

Funny thing is that because I let myself think those thoughts and feel those emotions it took me a bit to get out of that haze and see what he meant.  I watch some of these actors who are so uncomfortable, they couldn't do the exercise for one minute and I remember just how far I have come in letting people see my vulnerability.  That is a huge thing for me.  I might not be able to be vulnerable in my real life, but I feel as if I have hit a milestone by being vulnerable in my craft.  I have only had two classes with Brad so far, but  they have been tremendous toward my confidence in my acting ability and I am very grateful.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Monday, September 27, 2010

Creative Energy

Hi Everyone,

I had such high hopes for tonight with the reading of the movie script I was participating in.  It was a great experience but I left frustrated and disappointed.  I was most disappointed in my fellow company members.  After we read the script to the audience we had a Q&A, which would be about questions you had about the script, which it began that way, but somewhere down the line it became about how others wanted the script to end and how they wanted the storyline to go instead of what we had.

I love actors.  I hate their egos.  There were fantastic suggestions and improvements that Joseph and Jim can make to the script and I am sure they are going to do it, but then there was a lot of repetition of how someone else thought the storyline should go.  If you don't like the script, they should write one.  I think it is a compelling story that Joseph is trying to tell.  It is disturbing, dark, and twisted, but it asks a fundamental important question of human nature.

Tonight was my first night participating with my other company members in a production, that I am grateful for.  I am also grateful for the company members, even if I became a little frustrated with a couple of them, they are actors and they are passionate.  I am glad that the script got them so heated over what Joseph was trying to say in his script.  That is the reaction he wants.  He wants people to talk about the script and get angry over it, because then people will talk about it.  As I am writing this, my frustration is turning into understanding and appreciation for letting me be around such energy.  So maybe my high hopes weren't dashed after all, they just weren't what I expected.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Working Through the Heat

Hello Everyone,

Today started out with a workout at Equinox.  I took Antony, a castmember in Candida up on his offer to take his Pilates class.  I told him I was more a yoga girl, but he told me Leanne Rimes was in his class and I like her abs, so I decided to go.  He beat me up with the work out  he did.  I was grunting, sweating, swearing and hating my life when the workout was over.  He explained that all of the people in Santa Monica want beach body abs, or a body where they look good naked and you can't have that if you don't work your ass off literally for it.  Two hours after the class I was already in pain.  It was a good class.  I joked with Antony and his wife Jennifer that at the show tonight, if the lights didn't come on it was because I was snoring away in the booth.

Ah, the booth.  Also known as the oven and I am the turkey.  L.A. is going through a heat wave as we speak, so where the theatre is located the temperature hit over 100 degrees today.  The booth where I have to be above the stage is not air conditioned, but it does have two oscillating fans.  In between acts I would put the fans on and go down into the dressing room and hang out with the cast to cool off.  I purposefully wore clothes I had made in Africa because they are made of material for this kind of weather.  I don't use the fans during the show because I can't hear the actors.  The theatre has a speaker for me to listen to the actors, but I always forget to turn it down when I cue the music for the end of the acts and then I blow out my eardrums and anyone below me.  So I don't use the speaker.  It works for me.  Even though we didn't have a show on Friday because we didn't have an audience, Saturday and Sunday had a good number of people attend.  I hope we are able to have those amounts for the last weekend next week.

I am going to go take a cold shower now and cool off.  Hope everyone has a good week.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Full of Oktoberfest!

Hi Everyone,

I am going to spell out how I feel right at this moment...E...X...HAUST...DED!  I spelt it wrong on purpose because that is how my NY accent inside my head says, exhausted.  Today, was the first day of Oktoberfest at work and I had to dress up like a fraulein...a sexy fraulein, whose skirt just covers her ass.  So for everyone who knows me reading this blog, you can wipe the tears from your eyes because I actually started to like the costume by the end.

At first it was very uncomfortable.  I was self conscious, I couldn't breathe because it seems as if there is a corset sewn into the costume and I could feel a breeze on my ass.  But by the end of the day I was rocking that costume like it was no ones business because I looked cute and I was getting good tips and I was "chicken dancing" with the customers.  I forgot to mention we had an oompah band there.  It was awesome.  I felt like I was back in Germany.  I was shouting along as the crowd yelled, "Ein, Zwei, Gazoofa!  OY! OY! OY!"  I think I convinced my whole section that they had to come back and be my regulars because we had a good time.  Well, we had a good time in between the power going out 6 times.  We had so much power going through the breakers they couldn't handle it and before the electrician could get out to the restaurant, we lost power 6 times.  Each time the computers had to be rebooted and food had to be taken out of the pizza conveyor belt because it runs on gas. Most people were too drunk to notice, but I was stressed for a few hours.

After that I went to the theatre and we put on the show.  Tonight we had a good crowd and I hope for the last weekend next week we have a great crowd in size and humor.  So now I am ready to hit the sack, unfortunately it is 80 degrees outside at 11PM so my room feels like a sauna.  Oh well.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Friday, September 24, 2010

A New Day

Hi Everyone,

Tonight we didn't have a show for Candida and it made me sad.  No one made reservations to see the show tonight, so they called the show.  All of us were there, so we ended up taking a negative and making a positive out of it.  We all went out and had a drink.  The great thing about this project is that the cast and crew is fantastic.  I really can't say enough about everyone.  I have only been around for the latter part of the production, but everyone has included me as if I was there from day one and I am so appreciative.

At the restaurant, we had a great lunch and I was running around for 5 hours like a chicken with my head cut off, but it felt good.  Tomorrow we are going to be just as busy I hope due to it is the first day of Oktoberfest and also the town is having a street fair on the street behind us.  I am not looking forward to the sexy german outfit I have to wear for Oktoberfest, but if I want a job, I have to do it.  The skirt is a tad too short for my taste and I really am glad I didn't get to see myself in the mirror.   Everyone said I looked cute, but I felt very uncomfortable for the few moments I had it on, to figure out what size to get.

After I wrote the blog last night, I went  to bed and slept like a log.  When I woke up today, I felt better, in the sense that my depression has abated a few degrees.  I am not so much in the black, just the gray area.  I had moments of anger that I felt toward customers today, which is always a sign I look for in my "cycles".  If I start to get angry over the littlest things, something is wrong.  If I start to get stressed over things that are not my responsibility, for instance, the way the restaurant is run, it is a warning sign.  If I start to hide eating chocolate, that is a warning sign.  If I start to feel I need to go shopping for "little things" I don't really need, that's a warning sign.  If I start to close my bedroom door so I don't have to talk to anyone, that is a huge warning sign.  Over the last week I have done all of those things and pushed it aside hoping that the darkness would not take over, but yesterday it did.  By writing about it I feel so much better.  I feel as if I made a crack in the wall.  That my depression doesn't hold as much weight as it once did and I feel lighter for it.  I am very appreciative that I didn't let yesterday effect today, like I would have in the past.  It is a new day and I have a lot to be grateful for!

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Taking Back My Life

Hi Everyone,

I have been moping around the house all day.  I have eaten my weight in food and I am very emotional today.  I would like to blame it on my female hormones, but I do have that overwhelming fear that my emotional state is going in its cycle.  Because I deal with depression and don't take drugs for it, I know I have a cycle that I go in.  Since I went vegan I have felt extremely more clear headed and optimistic, but in just 24 hours I have gone from really good, to really bummed.

I purposely went for a walk today to get out of the house and clear my head, but the little devil on my shoulder seemed to hang around like a leech today.  No matter what I did to try and bring my mood up I had awful thoughts running through my head putting me down and making me feel awful.

I am grateful I am aware of what is going on and trying my hardest to alleviate the negativity, but it is a lot of hard work and I am exhausted.  I am looking forward to going to work and the theatre tomorrow night, just so that I have something else to focus on except myself.  Because depression is a very selfish disease and it preoccupies me to see nothing else around me.  I am always afraid of the darkness and I get angry that I have to fight with myself alone.  I'm tired of being alone and beating myself up over it.  Just by writing about my fears and frustrations has helped in a way.  I am so grateful for the ability to write because I don't know what kind of person I would be without it.  Writing has healed me in ways no person or medication can ever heal me.

I know that in the last few weeks my life has changed in such a positive way that my mind automatically asks, "When is the speeding train coming to take it away?"  I am so excited about all the opportunities coming my way that I am afraid that it is all a hoax.  It is too good to be true.  Of course after I think that, I try and change my thought patterns to say, "I deserve this!  I've worked hard for this!"  I do change my pattern, just not with as much oomph as yesterday.

At first, this post was my thoughts written on a page, but now as the minutes and words have passed by I feel as if this post is the moment of truth, that maybe I haven't been able to come to terms with.  I have always been vocal about having depression, but I don't think  I have been honest with myself fully on just how debilitating it has been in my life.  It has taken me out of the game for huge chunks of my adult life and has made me stall in my growth as an adult.  This "cycle" I keep talking about is about to stop because I want my life that I am building here.  I don't want to be a victim anymore, I want to be proud of myself for all that I have accomplished and embrace the opportunities as gifts instead of as something temporary that won't last.  I deserve it!!

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Harry, Sally and Sue

Hi Everyone,

Today I ate a tiny piece of Buffalo Chicken Pizza and now I have had a stomach ache for the past 6 hours. It was a great tiny piece of pizza, but seriously?!  As soon as I got home I began printing out the script of When Harry Met Sally for my comedy class.  I think I am going to do a scene from it for my final, I just have to find Harry.  This is the first time I am reading the script and I know the film so well that I "hear" Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan's deliveries of the lines and I purposefully have to make myself stop.

I also have started going over my scene for my on camera class.  The class doesn't start for another three weeks, but I thought I would get a headstart.  I also reread the script for the reading on Monday.  I am so tired right now and it is only 8:30PM, but I am psyched about all this activity I have going on that is acting related.  I've never been so busy with different things since school and it gets my blood pumping again.

I watched the premiere of Glee and I laughed out loud with some of Sue's lines!  I love the new additions to the cast and I am excited to see Sue and Will team up more, because I found them enjoyable to watch.  And I actually like Finn and Rachel together.  I thought I wouldn't, but since Finn is so truthful about Rachel's vanity and insecurity and Rachel doesn't hide from Finn's truthfulness, I thought they were cute together.  I was surprised to find Mike and Tina dating, but I thought it was a great twist to give those actors more to do.  I am looking forward to next week.  Britney!  The reenactments of her videos look fantastic!  I am a Gleek fo' sho!

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Epiphany In the Car

Hello Everyone,

I had my first class with Brad Garrett tonight and so far so good.  He is a very giving teacher, with great suggestions and examples of what to do and not to do.  I had to do a scene from Mad About You where I played Jaime's sister, Lisa.  Brad commented that he knew right away that Jaime was the perfect sister from my point of view.  I have to practice pacing and making my choices more important.  Even though he knew that Jaime was the perfect sister from my point of view, I had to make her the perfect sister.  I had to make it bigger, more important so that when the focus of the conversation went from Jaime to Lisa it was a big deal and I would get a laugh.

I hadn't been in an acting class in 9 months and I was so excited to get back into it.  I was watching a lot of the actors, who some of them are actors I have seen in television and film before and I always feel as if I learn the most, by watching other actors.  Some actors are a joy to watch and then other actors I can't watch.  There are actors who are so in their head about if it will be funny or if they look good that I can't watch them.  I try, but then I find myself cringing.  "Vulnerability is the key to booking the job" - Brad Garrett.  I couldn't agree more.  I am sure that I am as guilty as the actors I can't watch and I am sure that some people can't watch me, but that phrase stuck with me.  So I have decided to get back into my meditation exercises on a more regular basis.

Last year, I was meditating every day and I felt off if I didn't meditate.  I liked giving myself that 20 minutes to relax and be still and I find that I need to get back into the practice if I want to be a more vulnerable actor.  Things are good.  I am working on keeping the goodness alive in my daily life.  As I was driving to class tonight, I was so nervous, I was sweating profusely, so I a made myself take a few deep breaths and acknowledge the anxiety.  I had an epiphany.  The fear I was feeling in the car was one of those sink or swim fears.  That if tonight didn't go well, then I would be back to square one, but then I realized that isn't true, because the fear is just letting me know that what I am doing for myself is one step in the right direction.  I am vaguely aware of fear that is based in fear of success and fear that is based in fear of destruction.  I knew that this class, no matter how it went was a learning experience and I am so grateful for it.   We all have those gut instincts that let us know when we are in danger and when we are doing something positive.  Positivity is where the excitement comes from.  I know years ago, I wouldn't have let the excitement get to me, I would have pushed it down and played it off as some childish dream that was unattainable.  Now, I am so grateful that I am so nervous that I have to take deep breaths to calm myself, because I can't imagine where I would be if I stuck it out in Delaware and was the model American we are all supposed to want to attain to.  It's not who I am.  I can't go down that path, I am not made that way.  I need to feel that nervousness to feel closer to being whole.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Busy Night

Hello Everyone,

Last night was a late night for me and I totally forgot about the blog in my tiredness.  Last night I went and saw, The Town.  It was a good movie, not as good as The Departed, but Affleck has only directed two movies to Scorcese's plethora of movies.

I also got the script for the reading I am doing next Monday.  It is a dark, script.  As I was reading it I was feeling like I did when I saw Seven.  I read it and then I let it go.  I am going to have to read it again today if I have time between work and class, just so that I can now read it as an actor instead of a reader.  The first time I read a script I try and not make any decisions.  I let the script tell the story and I am aware of my reactions and emotions, because that is my instinctual feel for the material that I will base all my work around.  It is later in the process that I will begin to play and think through scenes to discover more about the characters.  This is my first reading of a script for an audience, so I am pretty excited.

I also got my sides for my first on camera class, so I will be working on those too.  I am not feeling very much like an actor and I am excited!

I watched Hawii-5-0 last night and really enjoyed Scott Caan as Dano.  I am sure he improv'ed a lot in the scenes, but they made me laugh out loud.  The show was enjoyable enough that I would return to watch it again.

Until later tonight.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Sunday, September 19, 2010

The Town

Hi Everyone,

So in the last 24 hours I have been told that I need to see the movie, The Town, pronto.  I say, "OK."  I have always been a Ben Affleck fan even when he did, Gigli.  I didn't always agree with his choices of character or projects, but I liked him anyway.  I always thought he got the short end of the stick when it came to comparison to Matt Damon, but now I am glad he is doing projects that show his range and talent.

I was impressed with, Gone, Baby, Gone when it came out a few years ago.  I thought the way that Affleck directed it was safe in a way, since he had  his brother as the lead, but Casey Affleck also showed his talents.  I loved how Ben didn't shy away from doing a movie set in Boston, with a solid script and a great cast.  I still talk about Amy Ryan's role in the movie.

From the reviews I have read, Affleck again has got another great cast.  I am excited to see Jeremy Renner alongside Affleck.  I also am expecting the movie to blow me out of the water like, The Departed did.  That is what I am getting from friends, that kind of excitement for the film.  There aren't many films that get me so excited to be an actor, I might pee my pants.  The Departed did that for me.  I was so excited after the movie, I think I did pee my pants, but that is just me.

Anyone have any movie they have been really inspired by, influenced by, or excited by that they nearly pee their pants?

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

The Actor's Gang

Hello Everyone,

Tonight was the best show we have had so far.  It was even more fantastic than usual!  I will boast and say, "I rocked the lights!"  The actors were all in top form and I had a great time watching the actors' reactions to other actors' dialogue.  I do believe that most of the acting is in the silent moments.  That is when we truly see the character, in what he/she does not say.

After the show, the cast went out for drinks and I tagged along.  I unfortunately did not have my ID because the  jeans I wore today don't have deep pockets, so I gave my ID to a co-worker to hold and I forgot to get it back from them after my shift.  Ooops!  Thankfully she lives down the block so I don't have to go far tomorrow to get it back, but she laughed her ass off at me, because, I texted her saying, "I won't need my ID, I'll get it tomorrow."  And look what happens.  So the bar got the manager and the manager said, I could go in since I had a gang of people vouching for me.  We went to The Red Lion which is a German tavern.  Tons of German beer and heavy German food.  I enjoyed a wonderful Warsteiner Dunkel which is a dark lager.  I can't say I have had many dark lagers, but it was good.

It was great to hang out with everyone and talk to cast members I don't always talk to.  We talked about Germany, rugby, ancestry, acting, our jobs and every other subject you talk about when you are getting to know people.  It was fun.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Friday, September 17, 2010

Understanding my Craft

Hi Everyone,

Tonight was the 2nd week of Candida.  I  went in a little early today so that I could play with the lights and enjoy the show instead of being nervous about it all.  It was a little rusty all around for everyone, but I really do love the show!  Even when it is a little off it is very funny and entertaining.  I can't say enough about the cast and the director, Carolee.  They are very friendly, supporting artists and that is really rare to find and I genuinely look forward to going to the theatre every show.

I went back to Samuel French bookstore and bought, Lillian Hellman's The Little Foxes and Moilere's, Amphitryon.  I have a list of plays to read, since the meeting on Wednesday.  I would like to be fully aware of all the plays that we as a company are thinking of putting into production next year.  Plus I then will have a plethora of new material to take monologues from.  It's a win, win!

I talked to Joseph, the artistic director tonight about a reading of a screenplay that is going to be performed on Monday, the 27th.  He said he had a few small roles that I would be right for, would I be able to come? I said, "Yes."  He said, "There are going to be producers in the audience, they want to hear what the screenplay sounds like."  I said, "Okay!"  And that was that.  I am excited about it.  I should be getting my copy of the script in the next few days.  I really am glad that I got into this theatre company!  It has been such a positive experience so far and I am pinching myself over it all.

Next week I begin my class with Brad Garrett and then in October I begin my on camera class.  Even though I am not auditioning every week I am glad that I have these classes to keep me busy and to oil my rusty acting.  I realize it has been 9 months since I have been in an acting class.  Yes, I have gone to orientations and weekend intensives, but they aren't the same.  They don't make me feel as if I have made certain skills become habit.  They don't necessarily make me feel stronger as an actor, or more confident in my craft, they are just a refresher.  I am hoping that these classes propel me into auditions I would not usually get called on, cross your fingers!

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Thursday, September 16, 2010

New and Old

Hello Everyone,

I had a wonderful day today.  I woke up bright and early and got ready for an on camera orientation up in Burbank.  I left an hour and a half early and got there 30 minutes before the class began.  Since I was one of the first four to show up I got to perform in front of the camera.  The teacher, Jamison Haase, has booked almost all of the shows on television in the past 5 years.  He knows his stuff and I was glad that I was able to sign up for his classes.  They begin on Oct. 12th.

I then went to meet my Aunt Lynda and Uncle Joe over at my cousin Robert's house.  They were visiting from Vegas and  it is always good to see them.  We laughed our asses off at each other and I ate tons of food that I don't usually eat and I took a lot of Gas-X.  I know TMI!  I can't help it, but I think I will have a stomach ache for the next week after all that food.  Crazy!

I got home and welcomed Jen back!  She was telling me her great stories of NYC and DC. It was great to be able to talk to her about both cities and know where each of those places was.  She also bought me a Crumbs red velvet cupcake, so I guess I will have to keep the Gas-X available for one more day....then I am back to my routine.  I have to say that I feel really blah right now after eating pizza and caesar salad, I don't feel so good.  Oh well, I had a good time today.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

New Season

Hi Everyone,

Tonight we had the big meeting at the theatre company to go over shows that we might like to produce for the 2011 season.  The list of shows that were thrown into the pot were fantastic and exciting.  We have classics, comedies, Shakespeare, farce, musicals and dramas.  I don't want to tell you what they are because I am superstitious and I hope that the ones I want, are able to be commissioned and produced, so I will have to postpone my hopes until the list officially comes out.  I would have to say that the company suggested over 50 productions and they were all productions I wouldn't mind seeing.

As I was driving home I had a very strong urge for chocolate chocolate chip ice cream and not just the small size.  Something all day has been gnawing at me, but I am not quite sure what it is just yet.  My old way of dealing with things that "eat" at me is to eat crap food.  Instead, I am going to be spending a few minutes on the couch in quiet time trying to figure out what is bothering me.  It could be as little as I stubbed my toe today and it set off a whole bunch of emotions I am not proud of, or it could be something that happened a week ago and pushed it aside as if it didn't bother me then.  I hate doing self examinations, but I do have to say that by doing this for myself I learn more about myself and I use it to fuel myself as an actor.  That is the excuse I use, because I have to see this very uncomfortable  and difficult practice of self forgiveness as a learning experience.

Tomorrow, I have my plate full again.  I am going to go to a on camera orientation class and then meet up with my Aunt Lynda and Uncle Joe for the afternoon.  I am not sure when Jen is getting back from NYC she hasn't contacted me about it, but I am excited to see her.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Dancing Out the Disappointment

Hello Everyone,

Tonight, I was supposed to begin my sitcom comedy class, but when I got to the studio, I was told that the class doesn't start until next week.  They apologized profusely for not contacting me, blah, blah, blah.  I am not really disappointed.  I was looking forward to the class and I am actually bummed that I have to wait another week for it.  It is like thinking today was Christmas, but then someone says "Oh, no that isn't until next week."  Darn!

So when I got home, I tried to watch TV, but I didn't really want to.  So I did 100 situps and stretched.  I am still p'oed.  Oh well.  I submitted myself for 15 projects today, hopefully I will get an audition out of one of them.

Jen comes home on Thursday and I am excited.  I can't wait to hear her stories of the East Coast.  I am auditing a on-camera class on Thursday with my friend, Aida in Burbank.  I haven't been to Burbank in a few months and I like it.  It is a little cute town that I would like more time to explore.  I could see myself living there if I was to get a television gig that films in Burbank.  I have been thinking lately that where I live isn't the most accessible place for me as an actor.  Most of my auditions are in West Hollywood, Silver Lake, or Burbank.  From where I live it takes me at least an hour in traffic to get there even though each of those locations are at most 15 miles from where I live.  I am not thinking of moving any time soon, I like my location too much and I like living with Jen too much to change.  It has been an eye opener with all the driving I have been doing in the last two weeks when I have to pay $50 for gas every 5 days when I am used to paying it every two weeks or more.  So...that is why accessibility has been on my mind.

My disappointment over the class has now turned into a jittery energy.  My heart is beating wildly and I have a lot of energy.  I want to dance to get it out!  I think I will and bug my neighbor downstairs that plays his club music with the bass thumping at all times of the night.  Oh boy, I am in a mood!  But I am feeling better!

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Monday, September 13, 2010

The Los Angeles Agent Book

Hi Everyone,

I have to talk about this book I bought at Samuel French the other day.  It is titled, The Los Angeles Agent Book by K Callan.  K played Clark Kent's mom, in Lois and Clark and has been in the business for years.  The first 2 chapters are all about when an actor is ready to move out to L.A., what to think about before you do move, after that, she goes into the business of being an actor.  I think this book is fantastic for any actor, you can be in L.A., NYC, or Timbuktu.  The quotes she has from agents, managers and casting directors are full of information, but then she goes into great detail about what to expect as a new actor and how to market yourself.  She presents questions that all of us need to ask, so that we figure out how to market ourselves.  I can't say enough about this book.  If you are an actor, I recommend it highly.

Having read the book, I realize I still have a lot of work to do.  I am definitely not ready to be knocking on agents doors yet, I need to train more.  It is a blow to my ego, because I would love to say that I am "ready" to be a professional actor, but that isn't fully true.  I know as an actor, even though I want to be on television I am not ready to have a starring role.  I don't have the credits yet that have established me as a person agents would pick out of the bunch.  I have been doing this for three years, but not to my full potential, so I have made a promise to myself to work on being an actor full time.  I am going to be happy when I start getting auditions on a regular basis, but that hasn't happened yet, but I plan on getting to that point.

For the past three years, I have used my emotions to make business decisions, that helps to a point.  I also have to be smart about it and most of the time in the past, I have been too lazy to be smart about it.  It was more about me wanting something without waiting for the opportune time.  I was more about forcing events into fruition than letting them happen organically.  Also I noticed that in the past I was always intimidated by agents, managers, actors that worked, but I don't feel that way anymore.  I now see them as people I can learn from and are excited to meet and talk to.  I am going to have lunch with an old classmate of mine who is now a casting director here in Los Angeles next week and I can't wait to ask her question and her opinion on the business, because she is seeing it from a totally different viewpoint now.  Can you tell I am excited?

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Go Giants! Go Driving! Go Pilates! Rah! Rah! Rah!

Hi Everyone,

I am so excited for football season to begin!  I haven't been able to watch my beloved Giants, but any game will do.  I use to hate football when I was a kid, I was more into baseball, but ever since the last baseball strike, I have gravitated more toward football.  The weather in L.A. is similar to the Poconos at this time and so I actually feel ready for football season.  The only thing I have to get used to is watching the game at 10am, that's a little weird.  Right when I am finishing my breakfast, football begins, my brain hasn't computed that craziness yet.

I noticed something today as I was driving to the theatre.  I noticed that driving makes me exhausted.  It could be all the traffic and the mundaneness of it all, but it wipes me out.  I was trying to figure out all week why I was so exhausted.  I thought maybe, it was because this has been the busiest I have been since moving out here, but then today happened.  I slept gloriously sound last night and woke up refreshed.  I then cleaned the house and dusted my room.  I read a play, went to the bank and got my car washed.  And I was fine.  I was pretty pumped actually, I was feeling good about tonight's show.  Then I was in the car for 45 minutes stuck in traffic on a Sunday afternoon at 3:30PM and I couldn't keep my eyes open near the end of the drive.  I couldn't believe it!  So I stuck my head out the window like Ace Ventura doing 15 MPH.  I wonder what the other drivers thought of me on the freeway?

I found out tonight, that Antony is a huge cycling fan just like I am.  He is also a pilates instructor in Santa Monica, so he invited me to his class next Sunday morning for free!  He says LeeAnn Rimes is in his class and I like her abs, so I am going to try it. :)  I am going to make sure I am next to Antony's wife, Jennifer, so that I can watch how to do half the moves.  I did Pilates a few times in Delaware, but I told Antony I prefer yoga because I need to work on my breath work and I find that works for me best.  We will see if he gets me on the Pilates wagon, I will see how my abs feel the next day LOL!

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Saturday, September 11, 2010

It's Always Sunny With Tara

Hi Everyone,

I had a little surprise that made my night.  I got my Season 1&2 of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia in the mail today!  Happy birthday 8 days later, to me!  I am so excited to be able to relive the adventures of Mac, Charlie, Dennis and Dee all over again.  They are so wrong, but so right!  Even though I am exhausted as I type this, I am going to force myself to watch at least one episode.

Tomorrow, I don't have to be at the theatre until 5PM so I am going to hunker down and do some mailings to agents and casting directors.  I am excited for my class with Brad Garrett to begin on Tuesday and I am trying to focus all of my energy on being an actor.  As a human being, for me it is hard to constantly think of how I am going to market myself and figure out how casting directors see me, and many other things.  I have come to realize that I spend way too much energy on thinking about not wanting to be a waitress, so I have turned it around and made my thoughts about wanting to be a working actor.  My friends Bonnie and Valerie will be yelling at their computer screens as they read this last sentence, because they have been telling me this for years.  I wasn't ready to listen or pay attention or do anything about it, until now.  Yipee for me!

This afternoon at work I was exhausted, but as soon as I got in the car to go to the theatre I had a huge stream of energy flow through my body as if I had just had 50 coffees.  The show went a lot smoother tonight than last night, but the audience wasn't as receptive as last night's crowd.

Today it was actually in the low 60's while I was at work and I was freezing.  They make us wear rock T-shirts that are thin and short sleeved.  I convinced the manager to let me take my sweatshirt out of the car, even though it wasn't rock oriented.  The money lately hasn't been great, due to the weather.  I still have a few more plays to read before the company meeting on Wednesday, so I am going to go and watch, It's Always Sunny... and laugh my butt off!

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Learning from the Rough Patches

Hi Everyone,

Tonight was opening night!  I had fun doing the lights.  The whole production was a little shaky in the beginning, but we came back for a great 2nd and 3rd act.  I am sure that tomorrow night is going to be a lot better, since we know what to expect with an audience there.  I didn't do anything drastic or major, but my cue for the intermission could have gone quicker.  C'est la vie.  I had fun though.

The company had a little party afterward, which I hung out at for a bit, meeting new people and introducing myself to company members I had only met that first meeting back in June.  Everyone there is very welcoming and so nice and friendly.  I really can't wait to be part of an ensemble there to put on a show.  We have our company meeting on Wednesday night, which I can actually make this month.  The past two months I haven't been able to attend either because of work or class.  We are going to discuss the 2011 season.  Like I mentioned last night, I am reading plays, that I might throw out there to be produced.  But I am getting ahead of myself.

Today at work, they added 5 more table to the restaurant for the beginning of Oktoberfest (Sept 25th) which adds 100 more customers that we can accomodate.  We got slammed for 2 whole hours at lunch today, but they found out that the kitchen is not big enough to accomodate the 100 extra customers, so we had a few angry customers.  I'm not sure how the people who run the restaurant thought it was a great idea, I believe all they saw was the money and not the logistics of it all, but now they know.  I don't know if they are going to take the tables out or add another kitchen to the restaurant, I wouldn't put it past them.  Oh and for Oktoberfest, we have to be fitted for  authentic sexy Fraulein outfits.  Can you say, "Oh, joy!"  I have a feeling some guy is going to get a knuckle sandwich if they get feisty with Ms. Tara.  I'm just sayin! :)

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Doing It My Way

Hello Everyone,

Today was my day off!  Yay!  I slept in until 9:30am and that was without forcing my head under the covers to block out the sunlight.  I actually slept until 9:30am and it was glorious!  I did a lot today toward my career.  I ordered new business cards with my new phone number, I picked up some new plays to read and classic plays to study at the Samuel French Bookstore and I used my present from my brother to buy the first two seasons of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

When I got out of the Samuel French Bookstore I called my friend Aida, to ask if she wanted to go hiking with me in Griffith Park.  It just so happened that Aida was parking her car to go into the Samuel French Bookstore when I called.  We stood in the street on Sunset Blvd, laughing at the coincidence.  What are the odds?!  And then Aida proclaimed in the middle of the street as we parted, "I love L.A.!"  This is why I love Aida.  She always sees the positive even in difficult situations and has such good energy that it didn't bother me that she couldn't hike with me.  I was glad I got to see her for a minute and hug her.

So I have a new hot spot.  Griffith Park.  I love the trails in the Hollywood Hills that kick my butt every time I go there.  When  Jen and I went a little over a week ago we took the Mt. Hollywood trail which starts in the parking lot of the Griffith Observatory (the famous one from Rebel Without a Cause).  That trail begins with Jen and I moving uphill until we get to the top of the mountain and then it is steep downhill going back.  The trails are sandy and gritty.  On the really steep inclines I have to be careful because it is slippery.  Today I explored the observatory and then took the other trail next to the observatory which starts by going downhill until you get to the bottom of the canyon and then I looped uphill back to the observatory.  A lot of the time downhill I was talking small steps because if I did my regular stride, I would have been running, it is that steep.  The uphill hike was hard and fantastic all at the same time!  I kept saying in my head, "Back straight, knees bent, stomach in and breathe!"  The trail is so steep going back uphill it is easy to bend into the climb and use my back as I walk up the hill.  It was a great workout for 40 minutes.

As soon as I got home I began to read plays that I bought.  First I picked up The Glass Menagerie because I am going to study it and see if it might be feasible to do it as a production at Knightsbridge.  I also picked up Mike O'Malley's, Three Years From "Thirty", Sarah Ruhl's The Vibrator Play and Lee Blessing's, Patient A.  I also picked up Shakespeare's Measure for Measure to study.   Since I have watched the interview with Judi Dench I have begun to really focus on what I love about acting.  I love exploring the character, and discovering what I have in me that makes the character come alive.  I am excited to be giving myself the opportunity to explore characters on my own and then maybe I will be able to learn new things about myself that make me tick as a human.  It is the most important part of being an actor, self knowledge.  Since I have moved to California I feel a shift in me, but I can't really pinpoint what it is that has shifted or changed.  I guess it is me in general, my outlook on myself.

I did notice something today as I was hiking.  In the morning for breakfast, I have a huge meal.  It is a mixed bowl of fruit filled with honeydew, melon, strawberries, raspberries, banana, and grapes.  I also have two pieces of sprouted bread, toasted, with natural peanut butter and strawberry preserves and a bowl of oatmeal.  It is my biggest meal of the day and it gets me through my shift at work.   This afternoon, I didn't get to Griffith Park until 4PM and I hadn't had anything to eat since breakfast at 10am.  Of course it did take me an hour to finish it, but still.  I was sure I was going to be starving after my hike, but I wasn't.  I had brought my water bottle and had been drinking all day from it and refilling it.  When I finally got home at 6PM I sat down and ate a very hearty portion of my pea soup and tried one of the raw dips I read about that put banana and avocado together with cinnamon and lemon juice.  It was sweet and tangy and so good with carrots.  Before I changed my diet to be mostly vegan, I would have sworn that just eating what I did for breakfast would not be able to sustain me, energy wise, for the hike I did today, but it did, tenfold.  I really can't believe the energy I have since changing to more organic, raw foods.  I didn't become vegan because of the animals, I became vegan because what I was eating was making me unhappy and bloated and now, I feel happier and lighter in some way.  My bloating is gone and I don't retain water like I used to.  I feel like a new person!  A new person who can hike uphill to all the glorious mountain tops and shout, "I did it, my way!"

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Short and Sweet

Hi Everyone,

This post will be short and sweet because I am beat!  Tomorrow is my only full day off in a long time, so I am looking forward to sleeping in...which means anytime after 7:15am would make me happy.  We had our last rehearsal before the big show on Friday and everything went well.  I am glad!

It has been slow at work this week, just because we have had unseasonably cold weather this week and I don't even know why people decide to eat outside for lunch, but then I remember when I worked in corporate and I would walk around rain or shine for 30 minutes, just so that I could get out of the cubicle.  So never mind.

I really have nothing to talk about, so I am going to close this little post until tomorrow, when I am sure I will have a glorious day of resting!

Until then.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

My Dream Role

Hi Everyone,

So for the past two days, while I was learning the cues for the show, Sarah, the lighting designer was using a walkie talkie to convey new cues to put into the computer while I was also trying to cue the show.  It made me stressed.  Tonight, Sarah wasn't there, so I got to do the show without any distractions and I am happy to say, that it went so much better.  I still have a kink to work out at the end of Act I, but all the other cues are smoother than they were, BIG TIME!  That makes me feel so much better and calmer about opening night on Friday.

Tonight, was the first night I was able to watch the show from my "tower" as I like to call it.  I really love the show.  I was thinking as I was watching Act II, what roles would I really want to play on stage and the first role was, Laura, in The Glass Menagerie.  I identify with her in so many ways.  Her handicap.  A mother who is strong willed.  A protective brother.  A shy woman among men.  A deeply insecure woman who just want to be heard.  I understand those emotions, circumstances and physicalities, from experience and from my gut.  I am soon going to be too old to play that part, and maybe I am too old now, but I would love to be able to play, Laura.

My schedule has been pretty mundane this week.  I go to work and then go straight to the theatre when I am done and stay there until 11PM or so.  I love being in the theatre.  I don't mind staying there until 11PM or later.  I realize that whenever I have a call time for 6am and I have to get up at 3:30am, I don't mind.  I actually have energy when I get up and am pretty pumped for the rest of the shoot.  I know that is what people feel like when they do something they love.  I am very thankful to be a part of the Knightsbridge Theatre, they have been very welcoming and so nice and I hope to be a part  of a show as a cast member soon.  I will keep you posted if they do a version of The Glass Menagerie.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Monday, September 6, 2010

There Are Reasons for Obstacles

Hi Everyone,

Today was my 2nd official night of being on my own doing light and sound and it was rough.  I am a Virgo, so I like things to work right away, perfect, with no hassle, but of course that never happens and then I get stressed.  So I have two more rehearsals before opening night and my back is telling me to stop stressing out!  I can't help it.  I don't ever want to have to do light tech a week before the show opens.  If I was to do tech again, I would want to come to rehearsals for at least two weeks, just so that I can learn the board and know what the heck I am pressing and why.

I am crossing my fingers for tomorrow, because I seriously don't think I have it in my brain stem to move at the speed they want me to move at to do all the cues.  I also don't have the ability to look from the stage, to the lighting board, to the sound board, back to the stage in a half a second.  I know I am complaining over nothing, because I only have maybe 70 cues for the show, which I have been told is very easy.  It isn't very easy for me, so I feel very incompetent at the moment.  Hopefully a miracle will happen tomorrow night and everything will make sense and I will find a rhythm.

Does anyone have pointers for a green lighting tech?  I will take it.  I am just an actor! LOL!

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Sunday, September 5, 2010

New Appreciation for Techies!

Hello Everyone,

Had my first full rehearsal doing tech.  It's going to be a doozy.  I have to do sound and lights so at the beginning and end of every act, I have a lot to do in little time.  I hope I get this down.  Everyone was so patient and friendly and they gave me pointers that helped me out.  I hope that tomorrow the notes I took make sense so that I am able to do it as close to the mark as possible.

I now have a new appreciation for tech people.  I was always stage crew: props, costumes, makeup, but never tech.  Now I know why, the pressure is on.  I am really tired, the last few days, I haven't been able to sleep like I have wanted, just because my calendar is so full.  Usually when I am sleep deprived I get cranky, I have noticed that I am not that cranky, I am just tired.  I wonder if it is because of being vegan.  The die hard vegans that do it for the animals, swear that the pain and misery that the animals go through in their life is transferred to us when we ingest the meat.  I personally think it is because I am eating non-processed food and have taken whites out of my diet.  I try not to eat any white sugar, flour, rice or pasta.  I feel better mentally, my thoughts are clearer, my moods are brighter and if I should become angry or sad, it lasts for a lot less than in the past.  I don't have to talk to myself to get myself out of bad moods.  I just go through them and then they are over.  It is very nice.  It is also a little weird.    I have never had this happen to me as a person before, where I feel so clear, or maybe it is lighter, or both, but I do.

Now I have to make time to be more active.  I was thinking of joining a gym, but that just seems like a waste of money when I can walk around my block, and buy weights to train with, so that is what I am going to do.  I already have a resistance band, and I would like to have a ball for more ab work.  Anyone have any equipment they swear by in their workouts?

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Tech Week

Hi Everyone,

This will be the first day of a very busy week, which I am excited about.  I had to work this morning and we had a meeting way too early on a Saturday before work to talk about safety precautions, etc. I just got home because right after work I went to the theatre to begin tech rehearsal.

I will tell you right now, I am very daunted by the lighting and sound.  I have never been around a sound or lighting board for more than a minute because all those buttons just seem like too much.  Well now I have a week to learn the cues for a show and I hope that I can do it.  I am excited by it actually and also very nervous, but it is a good nervous.  I think I need to really know the script, so I feel better about it.  I want the experience to be a good one for everyone involved.  Especially opening weekend.  Of course this is all my own pressure I am putting on myself, because Carolee, the director is very calm about it and helpful.

Our next rehearsal is tomorrow at 11am and I am sure that we are going to go all night through it, because we only have 2 rehearsals after that before opening day!  Oh BOY!  I got to explore the theatre tonight and I loved it.  The mustyness of the costume department, the eerieness of the back of the house, the cramping of everything into every nook and crannie of the theatre to make it seem homey in its unusual way.  It brought back memories of high school theatre productions.  Good times!  I will keep you updated!

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Happy Birthday to Me!

Hi Everyone,

Today was my birthday.  For the past ten years, I haven't really enjoyed celebrating my birthday, but this year, I couldn't wait.  I was bummed to know that Jen wasn't going to be with me on the day, but I have had such a great time with her "celebrating" my birthday early before she left that I was okay.  I don't usually tell people it is my birthday, but today I shouted it out to everyone and no matter what, I turned a negative into a positive, just by saying, "It's my Birthday!" and it would make me smile.  This is why.  A few days ago my friend Nicole wrote on her blog all the accomplishments she has achieved in the past 5 years and it made me think to 2005.

Back then I was in a temp job that I had been working at for 2 years with no immediate plans to be hired permanently.  I fell down the flight of stairs in my home and broke my foot, but had no health insurance to pay for it, so I dealt with it.  I enrolled in an acting class at the local community center with my friend Valerie and I loved it!  It was the only thing that made me excited.  At that point in my life I was lost.  I felt older than my years and didn't see anyway out of the cycle I had put myself in.  I was surrounded by loving and supportive friends, but I couldn't see it.  Everything was dark, everything was bitter, everything was mundane and normal and I was so mad at myself for letting myself get this way.  My imagination was filled with what if this happened or what if I met this person...

Then I decided to do some extra work because I knew that acting gave me hope.  I had no film or television experience so I researched extra work and found Three of Us Studios in NYC and I filled out the application for extra work and thought nothing of it afterward.  Three days later, I got a call to audition for a 2-year acting conservatory in 2 weeks.  I remember getting the call on my lunch break at the temp job and I was eating in my car, because I couldn't be around anyone, I needed time for me.  I remember Alberto asking me if I would audition in 2 weeks and I automatically said "Yes!"  When I hung up my phone, I cried.  Someone up there was listening and I was so thankful!  This was my chance to work my butt off toward the life I had envisioned in my head. The rest is history.  I don't know how this is all going to play out, but that moment in my life has made me thankful and hopeful for the future, which I wasn't aware of 5 years ago.  In the past 5 years I have:

I moved to NYC
Attended and graduated from a 2 year acting conservatory in NYC
I lived in Manhattan
I waited tables in the Empire State Building
I wrote two plays
I sat next to Meryl Streep for three days filming Doubt
I traveled all over the  United States
I traveled to Ireland by myself
I've met countless talented, spirited, creative artists I am able to call my friends and be inspired by their work
I've taken a Flying Trapeze Class
I've reconnected with so many friends in the past 5 years, that my heart thinks it can't get any fuller and then it grows even bigger
I've taken acting classes with phenomenal teachers
I've seen friends start families and settle down and love that I get to see them as someone new, a parent
I've seen Frost/Nixon on Broadway 5 times
I've seen Doubt on Broadway 3 times
I've seen Avenue Q 3 times
I've been a part of NY theatre
I called Dustin Hoffman a jerk to his face (long funny story)
I literally ran into Dan Abrams the reporter for MSNBC
I was mistaken for Tina Fey in Rockerfeller Center by a fan of 30 Rock
I got to root for my Mets in Shea Stadium and the New Shea Stadium ( I can't bare to call it anything else)

So, in the past 5 years I have reinvented who I am, to be someone I am proud of and want to celebrate, so Happy Birthday to me!

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Friends, Food and Theatre

Hi Everyone,

Today, was one busy, productive good for the soul day.  I woke up early, not bright, because the sun wasn't up yet.  I drove Jen to the airport and wished her safe travels to the East Coast.  I hope she is okay, she didn't text me back, so I say no news is good news.  Let me repeat, how jealous I am of her to be going to NYC.  I am missing certain aspects of the city that make it NYC, but I digress.  Let me continue...

Well, I thought it would be a great idea, to watch the sun come up over the ocean this morning since it was around the time of daybreak, but the fog was heavy with smog and I couldn't see a thing, so I drove home and made myself a luscious breakfast of champions.  A medley of chopped fruit, sprouted bread with natural peanut butter and strawberry jam, and my favorite oatmeal with almond milk.  And a cup of coffee!

I sat at the dining room table for 2 hours enjoying my breakfast and reading, Pillars of the Earth, which was just getting to the exciting part.  I then had the energy to go back to Griffith Park and hike to the top.  When I arrived I called my friend Kimmie and we began planning her trip to L.A. and I am getting more excited by the day!

I then called my friend Aida and we decided to meet for lunch after my hike.  She brought me to another fantastic vegan restaurant on Melrose and then across the street to an ice cream shop that makes vegan ice cream.  So I finally have come to the conclusion that Los Angeles is the vegan capitol of the world and that is one of the reasons I love living here.  L.A. makes it easy to be vegan and that is all I am going to say about that.

Then I drove back to my apartment to shower off the grime of the sand from Griffith Park and headed out to the theatre to watch the cast rehearse and got an idea of how the show is going to be lit and where the cues are going to be for sound.  The cast and crew are so friendly and it seems like a really good show, which I knew it would be.  So with just 45 minutes until my birthday day,  I am headed off to bed for a restful night sleep.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Everything is Alright

Hey Everyone,

Tomorrow, Jen is off to NYC and the East Coast in general.  I am excited for her.  She is going to go see A Little Night Music on Broadway and tell me how fantastically awesome Bernadette Peters is, live.  Tonight, we went to see the movie, The Kids Are Alright.  It was such a truthful story of family and the dynamics each of us plays within that family.  I thought the acting was terrific.  The writing was even better.

I have realized over the few years I have been an actor, that the writing means everything.  The script is a very quiet scene partner that gives you everything to do what you have to do to connect with the audience. Jen and I talked about how writing and acting work together.  I'm not saying that if the script is good, the actors are automatically good, but it definitely makes the process easier.  It feels easier to connect with the emotions that need to be conveyed when the script is good.  It is a progression, a through line of the life of a character.

Tomorrow is my first day doing tech for Candida, so I will be learning the lighting board and Saturday I get the script with the cues for the show.  I hope I do it well.  I don't want to be the reason for anything going wrong.  That would be a poop.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara