Friday, August 13, 2010

Temptation Purification

Hi Everyone,

For the past few days, I have been getting up extra early for no reason.  It seems my body just doesn't want to sleep past 6am.  So today, I decided to take advantage of the early hour and go for a walk instead of waiting later in the day.  It was glorious!  There was no cars on the road, no people on the road and I felt as if I had the whole world to myself.  The birds chirped as the sun got brighter and my steps became quicker as I became aware of the neighborhood waking up.  It isn't very often that I go for walks this early.  I used to when I was in high school before I had to go to school and I forgot how calm and peaceful it is.

Jen and I went to the Urth Cafe for a snack this evening.  I had gotten free tickets to a show and we stopped at the cafe.  Jen has been hearing the name everywhere and she wanted to go.  It was the first time I had been confronted with a display case of desserts and I had no interest in any of it.  It was a strange feeling.  They even had flourless chocolate cake and I wasn't tempted.  I can't say that my diet is raw because I do drink coffee and sometimes make an egg, but overall I eat raw foods.  My diet now consists of fruits, veggies, sprouted bread, assorted beans, assorted nuts and no dairy.  I have converted to Almond Milk and have weened myself off of cheese.  I have kept coffee in my diet just because I do love it.  But I have taken the sugar out of it.  Jen commented that in the last two months I have overhauled my diet gradually.  Jen and I were surprised when I said that I don't  want to have a "cheat" day anymore during the week.  I haven't had any "cheat" foods, like pizza, or ice cream, or a Chipotle burrito in 2 weeks.  I haven't wanted one.  The last time I had ice cream, I got Hagen Daaz Java Chip and that first spoonful tasted like a spoonful of sugar and I couldn't stomach it.  I was very upset that my body didn't like ice cream anymore.  I used to love ice cream and then I realized it was my mind holding on to old thoughts, that over the past few weeks my tastes have changed.

This new lifestyle has been an uplifting, learning experience about myself and the way that I think.  I have always known that I use food to push away feelings of insecurity and doubt.  I am not cured in anyway, but I am finding more healthy ways of dealing with such thoughts.  I haven't lost any weight or inches, but I feel better.  I feel as if my thoughts are better, my mood is better.  It is pure, if that is possible.  I haven't been around any family or friends for long periods of time to see how I hold up in non-raw households, I realize that will be my first big test of making this lifestyle change stick.  I have faith I will be able to sustain it.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

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