Today would have been my cousin, Erin's 31st birthday. She has been on my mind a lot lately and that makes me think that she is with me. I have wondered a lot recently that if she wasn't severly handicapped what kind of person would she have been. I remember thinking when we were children that she was so pretty. Even though she wasn't able to talk or communicate in anyway we understood fully, I always felt she understood us perfectly.
I called my aunt today and she sounded okay. I worry. I am told that the first year is the hardest. I wouldn't know. I have been blessed in my life when it comes to death and loved ones. I am a mess with everyone close to me here on earth, so I can't imagine what my life would be like without one of them. I depend on their love, support, opinions and friendship more than I can fully imagine. My heart as I write this, is tight with the love I feel.
I am not sure what my parents did, but they did something right. My mom, dad, brother, sister and I enjoy each others company immensely. We have been able to bridge the gap from the parent/child relationship to friend/friend relationship. We laugh constantly, we rib on each other, but mom gets most of it and handles it with more laughter, we argue, but then we forget 5 minutes later, we talk and discuss issues, life events, ideas, opinions and we all have our opinions. We have been able to welcome with open arms, my brother's fiancee, who has made the transition into our zany family very smooth and has added her dry sense of humor and girly fashion sense, which my sister and I desperately need guidance with, into the mix. I am not usually this sentimental, but Erin reminded me that no matter what, life is more precious if you have love in your life. Thank you Erin!
Until tomorrow. Take care and be safe.
All my love,