Today I had the day off from my day job and in that time I have been trying to conjure up an attitude adjustment in reference to the way I see my circumstances. As I mentioned in various posts, my sin is pride, what I mean by that is that in some circumstances I have a very healthy dose of self respect. For instance, my waitressing job. I don't like to be talked down to in that environment because I realize that most of the customers and managers believe that I am uneducated and have to be talked down to. I have a college degree, I've traveled the world and am not deaf or dumb that I have to be talked to as if I am 5 years old. I personally know that I can do the managers job easily, I have held positions in the restaurant business in almost all capacity. It was my choice not to move into management. So today I was trying to make my thought process over my day job a more positive experience. It was difficult. I've come up with that I love to work outside, I like the kitchen crew, and that I work the day shift. It's a start.
I also began working on looking at my acting career as what steps need to be taken each day to move me forward toward the career I envision. The past 6 months have been a rest period for me and now I am going to take my career and manage it so that I may see results. I personally think that me taking the classes is a great step. I also updated my resume, made a list of agents, managers and casting directors I would like to work with in the future. I signed up to make a reel of myself on Actor's Access so that casting directors can see what I look like on camera and other little things that I feel need to be done to move my non existent career into something moving. I want to have auditions every week. I want to work with other actors to move forward creatively, similar to what I had in NYC. I want to have my name on IMDB.com. I want to be full creatively instead of feeling as if I'm moving but going nowhere. I want to get out of my waitressing job. I want to feel excited and scared of my profession, knowing that what I am doing is going to push my boundaries. I will do it.
Until tomorrow. Take care and be safe.
All my love,