Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Diet, Size and NYC

Hi Everyone,

I ordered my bridesmaid's dress for my brother's wedding next summer!!! Holy Moly!  It is a beautiful grecian style dress.  The color is mink (or brown).  It wasn't in Caitlin's color scheme for her bridesmaids dresses, but I've been told that the style complements Caitlin's wedding dress perfectly.  I really like the dress!  Now, I am on a exercise kick, since I had to take my measurements and realized my waist is 2.5 inches bigger since moving to L.A.

It's funny actually because my weight is the same, but since I don't walk everywhere like I used to my body is changing.  So I have been hiking, biking, yoga -ing :), swimming and stretching.  My raw diet hasn't changed my body at all.  I just feel more energized and full all the time.

I read an article recently about one of the actresses from True Blood Kristin Bauer von Straten and she was quoted as saying that since she had taken on the role she has resolved herself of always being hungry.  Since they put her in such tight fitting clothes she has to work out more often and watch everything she eats.  I would love to be on True Blood and it is an eye opener knowing that most of the actors on the show have to seriously watch everything that goes into their mouth and work out abnormally to look fantastic on television.  The job of an actor on a show like that is to act and to be fully aware of their body image.

As I live here longer I see just how important the body image here is.  I think with being in NYC with the theatre the body image isn't so scrutinized.  This evening I came across an audition that requested an actress who was 5'3-5'8 95-125lbs.  I am 5'4 and 125lb.  I think the thinnest I have ever been was 114lb after I had surgery and the painkillers made me nauseous so I didn't eat.  I haven't been below 120lb since college.  I am trying to figure out how to get the best body I can have without being a twig or starving myself.  I enjoy my curves.  One of my teacher's at acting school, Pete Mattaliano, used to tell the girls in class, "Eat a sandwich!"  That is what I want to tell the girls here.  I think a lot of women here, believe if only I lose 20lbs, then I will get more roles.  That isn't true.  Get in shape and lose weight if you want to, if it makes you feel better.

For a few months now, I felt my body changing and I didn't like it.  I didn't like feeling the rolls when I sat down.  I didn't like that I was tired all the time because I had gotten used to sitting down and eating anything I wanted.  I didn't like that my jeans, dresses and shirts were getting tighter and tighter.  I knew I was doing this to myself because I was unhappy because of my unemployment and I had to fix it somehow.  When I lived in NYC I ate mostly a vegetarian diet.  I didn't do it purposefully, I just found that I liked veggies and nuts, and fruits over having meat.  I found different recipes and tried different things to spice up my menu.  I walked everywhere, was part of a gym and went to yoga classes.  It was the most active I had ever been in my adult life and I loved it!  I miss my walks around the city.  I miss the monuments and my "spots".  Los Angeles is definitely more my temperament, but there are things about NYC that I miss like crazy.  Before I moved to L.A. I was over NYC, I had to get out.  I let everything bad about the city get to me and didn't really appreciate what I love about it.  Now, I am able to see that NYC is a fantastic city with it's ups and downs just like everywhere else.   I am actually looking forward to going back.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,


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