Just an hour ago, I had an audition for the title role of Candida at the Knightsbridge Theatre Company and Carolee the director said that I should be available for callbacks on Thursday. Yay!!!!! Can I tell you how bummed I was today, because I was being way too hard on myself about memorizing the scene and monologue for this audition.
I am the first to say that I have a hard time memorizing, no matter how often I practice memorizing dialogue, I always need to work harder than a lot of my peers to get the dialogue in my body, so that it comes out natural and I don't sound as if I am trying to remember dialogue. All this morning I had a stomach ache, over it. I was also getting so frustrated, because I would take a break from reciting the dialogue to let it sit for a bit. When I came back to it, I would recite paraphrased versions of the actual dialogue. First rule of being an actor, you must say the words that are written, not the words you are most comfortable saying to convey the same thing. So, you can imagine the groans of frustration coming out of my clenched teeth as I heard myself take huge pauses to remember the exact words I am supposed to be saying.
Now, when you go into an audition that you were just given less than 24 hours before, the casting director is not going to belittle you for going a little off script and they also expect you to have the pages available in your hand as you audition. But, 2nd rule of acting is, Don't be a slave to the dialogue. I was taught in acting school how to read quickly a sentence off a page to queue myself if I am having trouble remembering the dialogue. It is very true that as soon as I see a word, the rest of it comes to me and I keep going. Sometimes you are on your game and other times, not so much. Tonight, thankfully, I was on my game and I believe that that was just plain luck.
As I was driving to the audition I felt woefully unprepared and tried to control my breathing as my thoughts were going out of control. It ended up that I had to do the monologue instead, of the scene, but either way it was a doozy. I will say that I had pictures of the two male characters I was talking to vividly in my mind, so that helped tremendously. Third rule of acting, Always know who you are talking to and your relationship to them. That is half the battle right there. Most of the time, the reason I don't get cast is because my vision of the other character isn't strong enough. I have learned over the 3 short years, just how important that is and have come to relish that part of auditioning. Wish me luck for Candida, because ever since I was accepted into the Theatre Company and they announced Candida, I knew that I had to be in that show. I don't feel so strongly about characters very often. But I realize that this role is one of those roles, I really want.
Until tomorrow. Take care and be safe.
All my love,