Sunday, July 25, 2010

As If!

Hi Everyone,

I realized just at this moment that this is my 100th post on this blog!!! Yay!!! Queue the band!  It is a momentous occasion for me today just because I was very aware of how I perceive things.  I realized lately that I have been living in a world of "What if?", not my world of "This is it".  I understand fundamentally that I must be okay with my "This is it" world to accomplish the "What if?" scenario.  

Case in point, I am having a really hard time getting through work.  I have to mentally tell myself to be nice to people, smile, laugh and act as if I am having a good time.  Sometimes it works, and sometimes I can't stand the BS I am telling myself.  Instead, I long to be home, or riding a bike along the beach, or calling Central Casting for extra work, or writing my romance novel.   That is partly true, most of the time, I am playing the "What if" game.  What if I won the lottery for $5000 a week for life?  What if I booked a national commercial?  What if I got to be cast as an extra on House and then the director loved me sooooo much he replaced the guest starring actress with me, so I could act with Hugh Laurie and get my SAG card all at once?  I realize most of the time I get carried away and scenarios never make logical sense, but boy can I dream.

My dreaming usually off sets my mood of negativity because as all game of "What if" does is make you see what you don't have.  So I have decided to turn it on it's own head.  I have begun playing the "I have" game.  I have a great roommate.  I have a warm bed and a roof over my head.  I have food in my fridge and cabinets.  I have clothes on my back.  I have a wonderful family and loyal friends.  I have a car that gets me around.  I have a job for one more week.  I have this blog.  I have the ability to walk, talk, feel, see, hear, taste and be.  And the list goes on and on.  It may not be exciting or exotic, but it is true and when all is said and done, I am very grateful.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

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