Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Show is Out There, And I'm Across the Country!

Hi Everyone,

First, Bernadette Peters comes back to Broadway and now David Duchovny makes his Broadway debut in a Neil LaBute play no less in October!  Man, I left NY at the wrong time.  I have been a fan of David Duchovny's since the debut of the X-files.  Not true, the 2nd episode of the X-files.  It is the only show to date that I made myself be home when every new episode was on and did so for 9 years.

I loved that show for the acting, the writing, the stories and the creepiness.  Because of the X-files I have been following David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson in their new projects.  And I haven't been disappointed.  I love Californication.  It is made for David Duchovny's humor.   And he fits that role, perfectly.  It is also drastically different from Fox Mulder.

The new Neil LaBute play is going to be another departure from Hank Moody and Fox Mulder.  I like watching other actors push themselves to do things others wouldn't expect them to.  I don't really care if they hit out of the park, or fall on their faces, as long as they try.  Because I understand,  as an actor they are terrified, excited, nervous, anxious and giddy all at the same time to stretch their acting muscle and see if they can pull it off.  The hardest part about being an actor is that, if your performance doesn't live up to other's expectations we get pummelled for it, but the reason most people aren't actors is they don't want to put themselves out there for the chance to get pummelled.

The reason the audience connects with performances is because we become vulnerable.  The character we play is a person to the one playing them.  I must go through the thoughts and emotions of the character so that you will stick with me through the performance.  I want to evoke a response.  I would love for accolades all the time, but that isn't reality.  That is why I love acting.  I get such a thrill when it does come together and I learn from my process when I bomb.  Once again, this week, I am jealous of all those people close to NYC to be able to see another actor I admire on the stage.   David Duchovny break a leg.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Today, There is a Slight Chance of...

Hi Everyone,

So today was mostly gloomy weather wise, which they have a saying in CA, "June Gloom".  Seemed appropriate today.  It is one of those days where you are sure it is going to rain, but it never does.  I only worked 2 hours at work today.  I didn't have to go in until 5 PM and I was cut by 7 PM.  I realize that I have to learn to rephrase my questions with people here.  I asked Daytona, who does the schedule, "Is there a reason why I have been inside for the past 5 weeks on Tuesday?"  She responded, "I work Wednesday PM inside and I don't make much money either, would you rather me give you an inside shift during the weekend?"

"No, I just thought we were on a rotation to make it fair."
"We are.  You work inside on Tuesdays."
"Ok.  That's all I wanted to know.  Thanks."
But I knew Daytona was pissed I asked.  I just wanted to understand how she was rotating, because my definition and hers are a bit different.  I really see no reason to come into work on Tuesday PM if I can't make the gas money that gets me back and forth, but that is me.

I feel antsy lately, as if something is about to happen, but I don't know what it is.  Like on the way home from work, I must of yelled at ten different "stupid ass" drivers on the road.  I have no patience lately.  People are making me angry.  I don't like this feeling and it always happens when I have an instinctual feeling that something big is going to happen soon.  It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I feel very off and unlike myself.  Let's hope this means I win the lottery this week :)

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Monday, June 28, 2010

Walking Along the Beach, Makes Me Wonder...

Hi Everyone,

Today was my day off, so I did my housecleaning, laundry and then went to the beach to do some walking for my daily exercise and take in the nice sea breeze.  As I was walking along the beach, cooling down, I couldn't help looking out on the water and imagining how I would feel if oil was lapping up to the shore.

The oceans of this world are, in my opinion, the most beautiful, awe inspiring, unpredictable, home to massive amounts of life, spiritual entities that make this Earth what it is.  Knowing that we will never know the full effect of this oil spill for generations to come makes me shake with rage and slump in sadness.

Jason Paul, who writes the blog, Living Craigslist, recently went down to Louisiana to see what he could do to help.  His link is: http://www.livingcraigslist.com/uncategorized/helpless-cleanup-bp-oilspill/   His post is sad to comprehend.  So few people, not enough money, all controlled by BP.  I learned earlier this week that CNN had a telethon for the Gulf.  My question is, "Why wasn't it on regular TV?"  The amount of money they could have raised on all networks, just as they had done for Katrina, 9/11, and Haiti would have helped the local families in some way, Yes?

What upsets me the most, is the loss of natural estuaries, marine life, animal life and a way of life for all of the folks down there.  This isn't something that can be cleaned up lickity split, it takes back breaking work, one oil drop at a time.  Plus, knowing that the oil is still gushing into the Gulf with no certain timeframe for stopping, is jaw dropping.  With all the technology we possess in 2010 we can't seem to figure out how to stop it.  That is sad.  So I assume all oil companies have the go ahead to build an oil rig, but they have no idea how to stop it if something should happen.  Because the odds of this happening are 1 in a million, right?  Ah, you have to love greed and the dependence on crude oil.  I am definitely a user of such oil.  I think some of this anger I have is because I am angry with myself for such a dependence,  having been able to see how this oil is going to affect millions of peoples lives and millions of species lives.

There was also a report on the news, tonight, of a Great White Shark being caught in a fishing net in Massachusetts.  They say they haven't ever recorded a Great White in those parts when the weather is so warm.  I wonder if the sharks are moving away from the Gulf and up into the North Atlantic because of the spill?  How many other fish and wildlife are moving because of this spill?  I also wonder how marine life that can't move, like oysters and shrimp are going to be affected?  Will it kill them outright, or will they adapt?

I was thankful today that I got to walk along the Pacific.  The ocean seemed angry in it's tide and color.  I am a believer that the ocean is a living entity and pray that the waters of the Atlantic are able to heal themselves over time.  I hope that the attention of a few humans is enough to make it a healthy strong home for the life within it again.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Animal Love

Hi Everyone,

My post will not be too long tonight, I am a little tired out, but I would like to share with you a great clip that I found quite amusing.

http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/06/24/clip-du-jour-the-muppets-and-ok-go-have-a-staring-contest/

It stars Animal from the Muppets and a member of the band of Ok Go...having a staring contest...have you starting giggling yet?  I know as soon as I saw the headline of this clip I was giggling.  I have to say, that in the past few months, the muppets have been rocking it!  I have been talking about the muppets on and off since the Muppet Show went off the air.  Then, it seemed they vanished for a few years.  I am happy to say they have just been on hiatus.  First, with their volunteer commercials, then the cover of Queen, then the announcement they are filming a new muppet movie and now this.  I am back to 1982 and I love it!  I hope you enjoy it has much as I have!

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Cleanse Makes My Body Healthy

Hi Everyone,

Tonight I worked the pm shift and I let the stupid crap that happens at this place get to me.  I made my night miserable.  The thing about when I make myself miserable is that I don't voice how miserable I am or how aggravated I am, which pisses me off more.  I don't know why I do it to myself.

So yesterday I decided to cleanse my body.  Since moving to L.A. I haven't been walking as much as I used to and my belly is showing the affects of it.  Even though I still weigh the same, my clothes say otherwise, due to my belly has lost a lot of its definition and muscle.  I never realized how much walking does make your body better.  I use to be slimmer in the waist and my belly was smaller.  So, yesterday I bought tons of veggies to make salads for the week, tons of fruit to eat for breakfast, fresh bread, yogurt and fudge sticks.

The first thing I did this morning was have a glass of water as soon as I woke up.  I will be the first one to tell you, I don't like water.  I constantly have to remind myself and make myself drink it.  I realize that most of my belly is probably water weight, since I weigh the same that I did 6 months ago.  Instead of my usual Maple and Brown Sugar oatmeal, I had a fruit bowl with melon, honeydew, strawberries, raspberries and red grapes and a piece of french bread with coffee and water.  Three hours later, I had some oatmeal and water, two hours later, I had a turkey and swiss sandwich on wheat, with a fudge pop and 2 glasses of water.  Then I had a salad made with romaine lettuce, sweet tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots and grapes with a dab of raspberry vinegarette and you guessed it....water...2 glasses again.  I made myself drink 10 glasses of water.  I drank 8 of them before I had to go to work because I know how busy I can be on a Saturday night sometimes and I don't have time to drink while I am working.  The hardest thing about this, was at 8PM my stomach was growling, but I can't have anything to eat.  It is true what they say about eating soon before you go to bed.  So I drank water.  EEEK :)

Now my stomach is growling and my mind is trying to convince me there will be no harm done if I make myself a sandwich or have a bowl of cereal.  I know me.  I will have a sandwich and a bowl of cereal, then be wide awake and miserable because I ruined my cleanse on the first day.  I was telling Jen, that I always seem to get into these healthy food kicks in the summer as if my body automatically says feed me veggies and fruit, because you have stuffed me with junk food and meat the rest of the year.  It's true.  I wonder if I will have the winter time munchies like I did on the East Coast.  I know that when I first moved here, my body wanted to eat salads and fruits, but it soon got over that LOL!  I guess in 6 months I will find out.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Friday, June 25, 2010

Forget About the Mosquitos and Go See Bernadette Peters

Hi Everyone,

The weather today was glorious!  I had to work the am shift at work today and open the restaurant.  I got to  be by myself for an hour and talk to a table of guys who were a lot of fun.  As soon as noon hit the garden was full and we all had tables and people waiting.  By 2PM I was driving in my car heading to the beach for a little sun because I got to be cut first.  The great thing about working 3.5 hours is that I made good money in those few hours due to big tables.

The rest of the weekend is supposed to be beautiful and I am working the pm shifts so I believe that I am going to treat myself to a day at the beach this weekend.   I was walking to the bank today and couldn't believe that it is so nice out.  I also noticed last night, that I haven't gotten one mosquito bite since living here.  Can you believe it?  Los Angeles doesn't have mosquitos!!! That is FAN-TASTIC!  How could I have missed that?

I read an article today that Bernadette Peters is going to be replacing Catherine Zeta-Jones in A Little Night Music on Broadway!  I lived in NYC for 5 years and Ms. Peters didn't do one show and as soon as I leave she is back...I am very upset over this!  I remember watching the 2003 Tonys where Ms. Peters performs Rose's Turn from Gypsy and being floored by it, because she was crying and singing at the same time!!!  I don't know anyone who can do that.  I know of plenty of Broadway Legends that can convey sadness in their songs, but I have never seen anyone able to be sad and sing at the same time.  Day in and day out, 8 performances a week.  That is impressive!  I am sure that is why Stephen Sondheim loves working with her!  So to all my NYC friends and East Coasters I highly recommend seeing Bernadette Peters come July. And tell me how it is LOL!

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

OH THE CONUNDRUM

Hi Everyone,

Today, was a pm shift day.  I am not a fan of the pm shift because I would rather begin my day working and come home and relax.  I don't particularly enjoy waiting for my shift to begin and then have to come home from work and get ready to go back in 12 hours later.  But during the pm shift the money is better.
So I try and deal with it.  I am going to apply to 24 hour fitness and see if I can work the early day shift or the 3rd shift so that I have a little bit more money coming in.  I want to get my eyes checked out, because I need a new pair of contacts, and my glasses are all scratched up since they are going on 4 years old.  I also want to take another acting class, because with the new TV season starting to film again in July I want to have something to send to managers and agents so that they know I am out there doing something with my craft.

Auditions for Candida are in July and I am excited for them.  I still have to read the play in full, which I plan on doing in the next few days.  I also will have to pick out a new monologue to help me with the audition.  I have been trying to find a comedic monologue for almost 6 months now, that I feel comfortable with and feel I can execute it as natural as possible.  It is true, what they say, comedy is harder to do than drama.  As an actor comedy has to look more natural and organic, as if I am clearly just thinking up the dialogue as I say it.  It is also takes a lot of energy to do comedy.  If one isn't prepared, it could be very difficult to do multiple takes of the same scene.  Many people, not in the business realize how tiring and physically taxing acting is on our bodies.  By making our bodies and minds become something they are not, takes a lot of concentration and listening to make it work.  I tell friends and family that they should try and concentrate on their breath for 2 minutes and see how well that works.  Actors concentrate for at least 2 minutes per scene and must be focused.  That is why it is considered art.

Now I must focus toward going to bed, as my eyes will not stay open much longer.  I need to be back at work in 10 hours and I need my beauty rest :)

Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Lessons of the Universe

Hi Everyone,

Today, I was up bright and early at 4:30am.  So technically, it wasn't bright outside.  I am not sure what woke me up at such an hour, but I woke up with a lot of energy to burn off.  So, I did some sit ups, then some push ups, a bunch of stretches and tried to hold the plank pose for 3 full minutes.  Three minutes is Loooong!  I'm just saying.

At 9am I hopped in the car and was off to my aunt's elementary school for the graduation ceremony.  The teachers had videotaped the children throughout the school year and presented it as a 25 minute video for the parents and family.  It was very cute and showed the personalities of all the children.  I got to get a few smiles out of the students I had met before.  They are so precious and genuine reactions that my heart goes out to them even more when I am able to get a smile.

Today, was my only day off for this week, since I was on vacation.  I am wary of the turnover that is going to take place on July 1st.  There must be a lesson I need to learn from this because I find in every job that I get hired for starting when I was 14, the management or the business changes hands soon after I arrive and the employees are thrust in a very awkward position of transition.  I try and take the transition gracefully and not have the changes affect the way I work.  I haven't figured out what I am missing from the lessons yet.  Maybe that is the point, that I am aware I am missing something.  When I finally learn whatever it is I must learn, I will let you know.

I am going to go to bed early tonight, since I was up before the crack of dawn.  Hopefully, it won't become a common occurrence unless it is for a call time to be on set.  I have been trying to find a show that I want to be on, so that I have a goal to go for.  My previous goals were Law and Order (cancelled), Battlestar Galactica (off the air), Lost (off the air) and House (starting it's 7th season).  I am sure that House isn't going to be on much longer, so even though it is still a goal I found that I am going to strive and be on True Blood because I know it got renewed for a 4th season last week.  Of course I would love to have a pilot show that is successful, but I also have come to admire a lot of television actors for the roles in the shows I love.  I would like to work with them.  I don't know if Hugh Laurie would do another television show after House, but I would love to work with him.  I am putting it out in the universe!  So Universe, I hope you are listening, ole buddy ole pal!

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

My Poor Gut

Hi Everyone,

As I mentioned last night, the festivities this past weekend knocked me out.  I went to bed last night at 10PM and didn't wake up until 11AM.  This morning I had to look at my cell phone for at least 5 minutes to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me.  Thankfully, I didn't have to go to work until 5 PM today.  I went to work, had one table and sat around for 2.5 hours before the manager told me to go home.  I brought home a whopping $3.  I think my car ate up more gas than that.

Tomorrow, I am off to my Aunt's classroom's graduation.  Some of the children are now going to either be integrated into public school or go on to other schools that cater to special needs children.  My aunt gets emotional because she has been their teacher since they are 3 and now some are 6 and must move on.  I can't imagine what it must be like to teach children for 3 years and then have to let them go.  It is so much more personal since the children are around longer than a year.

The weather is finally beginning to feel like summer. I am trying to get into tip top shape but I find that my aerobic workout doesn't seem to be enough.  Or maybe it is my body that is not in it's 20's anymore, deciding to be difficult.  It is always harder as you grow older to accept that you are growing older.  I feel as if I am about 25 when in actuality I am almost a decade older than that.  I don't really like going to the gym, but I do enjoy the benefits of having the elliptical trainer available when I most need to get rid of the gut I have grown.  Yoga and ab work only goes so far.  Now I have to do some aerobic training and I don't mean Jane Fonda.  I need to sweat for at least 45 minutes 4 times a week.  Maybe I will go to the 24 hours Fitness and see if they are hiring.  I could use the extra money and the free membership.  It's just an idea.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Monday, June 21, 2010

Grandpa Bob's Weekend

Hi Everyone,

Sorry for the delay in posting for the past few days.  The surprise 90th birthday weekend was a huge success and frankly wiped me out.  I would find that I was in bed by 10:30PM and would be snoring by 10:31PM.  I have never been that tired in a long time.  It was one of those periods where I never dreamed, so that when I woke up I still felt tired.

Grandpa was floored on Saturday as each of us would walk around the house and "nonchalantly" wish him Happy Birthday.  He was sure that my brother and sister would not be able to make the festivities and he honestly never thought Aunt Peggy would come out to celebrate.  We had Aunt Peggy come around the corner last, and poor  Grandpa lost it.  He was thrilled and bawling and repeating, "Holy Hell, Holy Shit" over and over for about 2 minutes.

It is always fun to have the family together and also interesting to observe  how we all work as a "family".  Little Mikey, my cousin Shauna's 3-year old son loves my dad, so they were entertaining each other, then Mikey took to my brother, Tim  and they got along for some time.  My cousin Kevin, had everyone in stitches with his off color jokes of the family and obnoxiousness.  My mom was all about having a good laugh which was always at her expense when it involved her sisters.  I realized my mom is a really good sport.  My dad is the sarcastic one, who gives the one liners and that my grandfather is really good at that too.  My Aunt Lorraine is the quiet one who loves to make daquiris and walk when she is supposed to hop doing the potato sack race.  My Uncle Joe is the family BBQ'er and is a good foil to my dad's sarcasm.  They play well off each other.  My cousins Kevin and Mike are also really good at trash talking each other that borders on unrequited anger from their childhood.  My cousins Brian and Robert, just want to have a good time, talk a bit, play volleyball and drink.  My sister Megan, wants to hug and kiss everyone because she only gets to see them all every few years or so and she has to catch up on her lovey dovey ness that defines who she is in the family.

We got to meet Megan's boyfriend Jason, who is the male version of Megan.  I never knew there were such genuinely nice people in the world times 2.  He got the hang of the families and was able to trash talk and goof around with us within 24 hours.  That is a good sign that he will be accepted.  Caitlin, got a few shopping days in and we were able to talk about the wedding so Megan and I have an idea of what she is looking for in a bridesmaid's dress.  Megan and I told her we weren't picky, that she could pick out the dress and we wouldn't veto it.  I am getting excited for Tim and Caitlin's wedding because I realize a year is going to go by so quickly!

For Grandpa's gift my Aunt Lynda, Aunt Lorraine, Uncle Bobby and mom collected a bunch of pictures of grandpa from when he was a kid to recently and put it to a slideshow.  I couldn't believe that when the photos of my grandfather's time in the Navy came up, Grandpa was naming off all the men.  My dad said that in the past few months grandpa has been telling stories no one has heard and they can't believe how much he remembers.  It was a fantastic weekend and like all things, fantastic, it went by way too fast.  Now I need a nap :)

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Family Play Time

Hi Everyone,

I am trying to write this blog post while watching my dad wrestle with my nephew, Mikey who is 3 years old.  Mikey, loves my dad.  He thinks he is the greatest thing since ice cream cake.  For the past 1/2 they have been playing phone on and trying to see who says "HELLO!"  the loudest and "Ok, Goodbye" the fastest.  Mikey, can't stop laughing which gets the whole family laughing. 

Mikey is a ball full of energy and loves to play, especially with "Uncle Wichie".  Watching my dad with Mikey is wonderful because I can see what he would be like with any grandkids my brother, sister or I may have.  It is great to see my mom with Mikey too.  I see how she is with him and remember about how she did things with us and it makes me smile.

This weekend is going to be really great.  I am looking forward to seeing everyone and hoping that Grandpa has a great time.  I know it is going to be a great surprise to him to have all his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren there to celebrate his 90th birthday.  I will keep you posted.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

First Meeting of a Sleepy Dwarf Ready to Party

Hi Everyone,

Tonight, I went to the first meeting as a member of the Knightsbridge Theatre Company.  It was funny, exhilarating, inspiring and hopeful.  Everyone was very welcoming and were joking with one another and making it all feel as if they were family.  It reminded me of when I was in high school drama club and we all had a great time.  It was the reason I wanted to become an actor.  To feel that camaraderie.  I am very hopeful that I have a positive experience with this company.  I feel I could learn a lot from everyone.

I want to talk about the freeways.  The meeting tonight, was at 7:30PM.  I left my house at 6:20PM and got 15 miles in an hour and 5 minutes.  When I am moving at a snail's pace, I realize I get very tired, very quickly.  It is hard to concentrate on the car in front of you when you are trying to keep your eyes open.  This has never happened to me before driving on the East Coast, but I believe because I am still moving, but so slow that the car rocks back and forth, I put myself to sleep.  As soon as I am out of the car, I am fine, but if I am stuck in traffic, forget about it.  So I do what every normal person does, I stick my head out the window, like Ace Ventura, or the Basset Hound in the car beside me.  The wind hits my face and I am immediately refreshed.

Tomorrow morning, I am off to Vegas for grandpa's surprise 90th birthday.  I also get to see Tim, Caitlin, Megan, Mom, Dad and meet Jason for the first time.  It should be one hell of a party!  Can't wait to see everyone.  I am off to pack!

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

I am Nervous

Hi Everyone,

Sorry, I have been MIA, my wireless hub was not working and I couldn't get on the internet for the past two days.  It has been the most anxiety ridden two days LOL!  Who would have guessed how accustomed we have all come to having internet in our lives.  I was getting nervous because I wasn't able to check my email.

I thought I was doing pretty good.  I read a book, I got a lot of writing done, I watched movies, I cleaned the house...I did things to keep me busy, but there was always this underlying feeling of anxiety and now I know it has to do with me not having internet.  How sad.

So last night, I got my mail and I was very excited because it had DMV stuff in it and I was glad to see that I have finally gotten my vehicle registration information.  Wrong.  The registration is for the wrong vehicle.  Can I tell you how much I hate this dealership.  I bought this car, 5 months ago and I still don't have my title or registration for the vehicle I bought.  The DMV thinks I am driving a 2000 Toyota.  I have a 1994 Infiniti.  I have contacted the Better Business Bureau and will be consulting a legal counsel.  I have tried to call Amin for the past three days, and his phone is off and you can't leave a message because his mailbox is full.  I don't know how he stays in business.  I can't sleep over the anxiety I feel over this either.  I've been up since 5 AM because I wake up and think about how pissed off and how nervous I feel not having my papers in my hand.  That I paid for when I bought the car!  I don't get it!

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Monday, June 14, 2010

Being Resourceful and Ready

Hi Everyone,

I got an email from a friend of mine in NYC who I used to talk television with because we share the same taste in shows and he informed me that he is canceling his cable.  I think I shouted at my computer screen "NO WAY!".  It's funny how I didn't have cable for the past 2.5 years I lived in NYC, so I used Hulu.com and network websites to watch the shows I missed.

If I didn't have the premium cable channel I always read the recap in Entertainment Weekly.  As an actor I know about most of the shows on television, even if I don't normally watch them or have an interest in them.  But if I get called for an audition I will know what the story is about, how the characters connect with one another and have the overall gist of the storyline.

For example, I don't have HBO, but I can tell you that on True Blood, Sookie loves Bill, is attracted to Eric, is sister to Jason, best friends with Tara, works for Sam, is co workers with Lafayette and is able to read minds.  I also know that Bill was turned into a vampire during the Civil War,  Eric is a 1000 year old vampire, Sam is a shape shifter and poor Tara, Lafayette and Jason are the only humans in the bunch, but sometimes seem as if they are the craziest of all of them.  I know Bill turned Jessica in to a vampire and is an awful "mentor" to her.  It is also based in Bon Temps, Louisiana.  That is all I really need to know about the show.  Everything else I could learn from the script.

I love reading scripts.  As an actor, sometimes I glance through the script to see what "meaty" things I get to do or say.   Sometimes it is the simplest of lines, but I get a "Oh, boy, this is good" reaction running through my veins.  Then I read the entire script.  I mark the parts where I had my gut reactions and as I read through it again, I remember what I was feeling as I read the full scene.  It is a wonderful process that gets me giddy as if it was the first day of school all over again.  I can't wait until I can do that everyday as my career.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Getting It Together

Hi Everyone,

Today, I got everything squared away.  I officially accepted my invitation into the Knightsbridge Theatre Company.  I got my plane ticket to Las Vegas for Thursday to Monday and I saved the money I wanted to for this week.

I got a surprise at work tonight.  My Aunt Peggy and my cousin Robert stopped by to surprise me and have dinner.  Robert is going to be moving back to Torrance.  He currently is going to move into the house he owns in Torrance and rent out the townhouse he has in Huntington Beach.  Everyone is excited about it.  I think Robert misses being around his family and now he can be.  So that is exciting.  Also I was bombarded with requests for Robert's number by at least 5 women in 10 minutes time.  Aunt Peggy, Robert and I just laughed about it, because as Robert reminds Aunt Peggy, "Ma, face it, you have a bona fide "catch" here."  Which gets us giggling all over again.

We had our meeting this morning at work and I am not sure anything is going to be accomplished.  I guess I will have to be patient and see.

I was excited over the England vs USA World Cup game today.  Granted, we shouldn't have gotten the goal that we did, but I was sure that the way we played in the second half would have tied up the game either way.  I feel bad for the goalkeeper of England because he is not going to be able to live that down if this ends up blowing England's chances later on in the competition.  I didn't like the way the USA played in the first half, but they showed a lot of improvement in the second half.  They seemed like a team that could beat England.  I am really excited for this year's competition.  I know a few people who are going to South Africa specifically for the games and I am very jealous, in a good way.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Friday, June 11, 2010

Seeing the World Open Up

Hi Everyone,

I GOT IT!!! I am now a member of the Knightsbridge Theatre Company!!!!  Their first meeting is this Wednesday, and I was supposed to go to Las Vegas on Wednesday, but since I still haven't confirmed my ticket yet, I think I am going to ask my Uncle Tom if I can book it for Thursday instead.  Keep your fingers crossed!

My grandfather's 90th birthday is next Saturday and we are all flying in to surprise him for his birthday.  I can't wait.  I feel like I haven't seen my brother and sister in forever.  It's been 6 months.  We also get to meet my sister's boyfriend and my brother and his fiancee are going to be there too.  Plus, all my cousins, aunts, uncles and second cousins are going to be there too.  We haven't ever been this together, ever I think.  So it is going to be special.

Dad already told me that Vegas is in the 100's.  Los Angeles is strange, because I thought it would be hotter in June then it really is.  The weatherman says that the high is 68-70 degrees everyday.  Of course, it feels hotter in the sun, but I never feel stifled, like I did on the East Coast.  There is always a nice breeze.

Tomorrow, I have a early meeting at work.  I assume we are going to discuss the takeover coming July 1st.  I know that it has to be over by 10-10:30am so they can start opening the restaurant.  I am hoping that I have don't miss too much of the England vs. USA soccer match because of it.  I didn't realize the game was going to be on so early, but that is something I still am not used to, PT time.

Is anyone else feeling World Cup fever?  Last World Cup I was working at Heartland and I learned all this stuff about soccer from the tourists and it was so fun to watch with them, because you could feel the excitement in the air.  Plus, the Europeans were crazy, boisterous, funny fans.  We had a good crowd at work for the World Cup, but I don't think it will hold a candle to NYC World Cup memory.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Inspiration Kicks In

Hi Everyone,

When I signed in tonight Blogspot gave me an option to redesign my site since they had more templates available and I am afraid I went a little overboard.  Sorry if the color hurts your eyes.  I just needed a change.  Out of the two blogs I have, this is my least favorite creatively.  I feel as if I am in an office cubicle with bad lighting.  I enjoy the look of my other blog alot more.  

Tonight, I had my audition for the Knightsbridge Theatre Company and it went well.  I rocked my two minute monologue and was asked to stay for an interview with the treasurer of the company.  The President, VP and Secretary were facilitating the auditions.  I hope I get it because from what I have read, seen and felt while there, I think this company would be a great place to learn.  I have always been a believer as an actor that I learn more by observing other actors.  To be surrounded by people of all ages and stages of their career would be beneficial to my craft.

My first few weeks here, I read an article about Jayma Mays, from Glee getting her start at the Knightsbridge, because someone saw her in a production of The Rocky Horror Picture Show and she got her manager and agent through that show.  She also went on to say that the director of the theatre was someone who gave her the space to try different things and make mistakes.  That is who I am looking for in a teacher.

In NYC, my acting teacher Steve Perlmutter, gave me the space to do my work, prepare and rehearse.  Then he was able to give me constructive criticism that I was able to use to pinpoint where I need to work as an actor.  From my interview with Vicky, it seems that Joseph the theatre director works in the same way.  I miss the support I had as an actor in NYC, more than anything.  If I get invited to be part of the company I get to learn all aspects of the theatre and also perform.

Isn't it funny, how just a few weeks ago I went on to say that I was taking a break from acting for a bit, but somehow the universe won't let me.  Thank the Lord!  The surprise audition and the feedback I got from the group was enough to keep me excited and even though my limp is more pronounced recently it shouldn't hold me back on what I love to do.  So no matter which way this rolls, I've got to keep going.  I will do everything I can to juggle both.  I can.  I will.

I also made a pact with myself that my romance novel will be done by my 34th birthday in the beginning of September.  Jen is holding me to it and keeping me focused.  Even though it has been a tough 6 months, I hope that the next 6 months are full of opportunities and projects, I could only dream of.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Boy, Am I Sleepy

Hi Everyone,

I am purely exhausted today.  I had a full day today.  I woke up bright and early and began cleaning my room and doing my laundry because I had to go to the Federal Gov't orientation this afternoon before work.

The orientation took place at the same hotel I stayed in when I came to look at apartments last November.  The presentation began at 2PM.  I got there a little after 1:15PM and the conference room already had half capacity.  By 1:45PM the place was full and no one else was allowed in the room.  The facilitator was very thorough and concise.  He told us that there are a lot of jobs available in this area, but no one has been able to pass the test to become a federal employee.  He went on to say that when people take the test the average score is 35.  The passing grade is 70.  He gave us a practice test.  I scored a 40.  It was because I didn't pay attention to the questions.  For example.

What is the northern most state in the United States? : A. Maine B. Minnosota C. Washington D. North Dakota E. None of the above.

I said it was Maine because it is the most northern state out of the choices, but I didn't even consider None of the above because I wasn't considering the the rest of the U.S. eventhough it plainly said so in the question.  Out of 100 people at the orientation 2 people passed with a 70.  And that is the lowest passing grade you can get on this test.  Thankfully it was practice.

The man then explained that we had to have a federal government or military resume.  If we didn't know how to make one, and mailed a business resume to the gov't agency we would never be contacted.  The gov't makes sure that you follow directions to the T because they aren't able to fire their employees.  They make sure that the screening process is very difficult.  If people think they have the job experience to be hired, they must also have the KSA or knowledge, skills and ability to learn a new job and follow orders.  The gov't doesn't hire just anyone, since they are hiring someone with the hope that it lasts the person's full career, they want to make sure they have the right person.

After my orientation I went to work and I was told I had to handle a party of 30-40 and then  a party of 20.  I felt like I was back at Heartland Brewery.  It was pretty easy since everyone ordered pizza, beer or sodas.  The only thing I dislike about any serving job is how parents let their children run around everywhere, when there is hot food being served and glass cups for drinks that can be dropped with the amount of children we had running around the place.  I think there were approx. 50-60 children at the beer garden running around at the same time for 2 hours.  It was mayhem.  I think that is what really wiped me out.  So I am off to bed.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Opportunities Abound...

Hi Everyone,

For the next few days, I have a few opportunities coming up.  I am going to an orientation on working for the federal government.  Since I have made the decision to try and buy a condo or townhouse in the next five years, I thought I should try and find a job that will help me pay down my student loan debt which is a mortgage payment in itself.  Tomorrow is the orientation and then on Thursday, I have an audition for a theatre company in L.A.

I read an article when I first arrived to L.A. about Jayma Mays, from Glee and she said that she got her start at the Knightsbridge Theatre, so I sent off my info asking for an opportunity to audition when the time came around.  I received an email today asking me to audition on Thursday at 8PM.  So I am preparing a 2- minute monolgue for the audition and hope that everything goes well.  It would be a paying acting gig and give me lots of experience too.

Tonight I got to see what a true Lakers fan looked like.  I thought Philly fans were bad, but I think they have found their west coast counterpart in Los Angeles.  They are very passionate, angry, vengeful fans and I wouldn't want to be a Celtic fan at a Lakers home game.  I am still rooting for the Celtics though.  East coast all the way!

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Monday, June 7, 2010

Repetitive News is Not News, it's Laziness

Hi Everyone,

I was watching NBC Nightly News and lately I have been thinking it is more like an episode of the Today show.  I have come to notice that the evening news that is helmed by Diane Sawyer, Brian Williams and Katie Couric is just an extension of each station's morning program.

When I sit down to watch the Evening News I expect to get information, not lazy reporting.  I feel bad for all the reporters on the Gulf story, because they say the same thing every night.  Nothing can change drastically, if it is reported on 24/7.  I am not dumb.  I know how catastrophic this oil spill is, I also know that everyone involved is doing everything they can to stop it.  I am tired of hearing every night President Obama, saying once again, he promises to stop the leak.  Counting the days from the explosion until now just creates anger in the general public.  It creates anxiety, and hopelessness.

When I lived in Africa I didn't have a television but I did have a transistor radio.  I would listen to Air America, BBC, Radio France Internationale, and the local Douentza radio station.  My favorite of all the stations was BBC.  I got to learn of news from all over the world.  I learned of people and places I had never heard of before in different corners of the globe.  When I got out of the Peace Corps and had cable with BBC America included, I would watch their news over any of the American broadcasts.  I would actually get "world news".  And each day wasn't a continuation of a story the day before.  There would be little hiccups of continuation if the story was sensational enough, but they wouldn't focus half of the broadcast on it.

I stopped watching the local news about 5 years ago.  I try and catch the weather on a Monday night and then I am set for the week.  I don't need to know about shootings or deaths of some kind.  I know they are going around.  I focus more of my news energy reading newspapers and the internet because there I am able to get the facts and just the facts.  I am a big fan of the New York Times, even though the Weekend edition does take me all of the weekend to read it.  I am partial here to read the L.A. Times, but to me it doesn't stand up to the NYT, but I am biased.

I believe that most of America is brainwashed by the media to accept what they are given.  Most Americans have not been outside the U.S. or if they have, they haven't lived outside the U.S.  I think it is important to do that once in your lifetime.  Even if it is for one month, that one month can open your eyes to so many different things.  We, as Americans, take what is given us as fact and do not question our livelihood.  When I watched the local news daily, I wondered why I couldn't go to sleep at night, why was I so anxious?  When I realized that I became anxious watching the news, I turned it off and have been able to sleep better in general.  Life is hard enough, that we don't need the media breathing down our necks of the next natural disaster, war, or man made disaster.  Enough already.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Sunday, June 6, 2010

20 Years From Now

Hi Everyone,

I was watching a movie today called, P.S. with Laura Linney and Topher Grace.  Topher Grace plays a young MFA candidate at Columbia University and Laura Linney plays the admissions officer.  They begin a relationship because she sees similarities in him that remind her of her high school sweetheart.  There is a scene in the movie where she asks him to pretend it is 20 years later and he now works as a used car salesman, for his uncle and he has lost all hope in being an artist.  She then went on to say, that, and I paraphrase, it's a shame when artists die young because they don't know what it really means to be an artist.

I have felt the loss of hope, or can't understand why I need to be an actor.  I lose my glow.  I feel self-pity and no sense of direction when I get into those moods.  I believe everyone feels this way at one time or another.  All of us need to be creative in our lives, either as a profession or a hobby.  A lot of us lose our way, or never knew our way to begin with.  A lot of us push down the intuitive feelings that if they do something that is creative it will open a "can of worms".  I see nothing wrong with that.

I understand why actors, musicians, directors, writers, etc may hope that their children don't have to be an artist.  I believe being an artist is going against status quo, always being an outsider, always struggling, always hoping.  Some artists get the big break, others figure out a way to make it work for them and others give up.  I have only been a professional actor for 3 years, it seems like it has been a lifetime.  I don't want to feel hopeless, 20 years down the line.  I want to be proud of what I have accomplished whatever it may be, but also able to be at peace with wherever I am at.  Life is a journey, not a destination.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Bloggy Blog Blog

Hi Everyone,

It's funny how I am getting more and more people reading my old blog because they found it on Yahoo, Google, Facebook, or Bing.  I don't know what they were searching for, but they began to read it and I have been getting wonderful comments on it.  Unfortunately, I haven't kept up with that blog as I have with this one.  Since I had the wonkiness that happened for a few days a few months ago with that blog, I haven't trusted it enough to write everyday.  Plus with a full time job now, I am having a hard time finding things to write about because my mind is preoccupied with food orders and drinks instead of ideas and musings.

I miss the days where I would be so excited when I realized I would write about a certain topic for the day. Now when I sit down to write it is more off the cuff and I don't find that my writing recently has the same feeling as my previous posts on the old blog.  My writing is definitely evolving.  Everything does.  Sometimes it evolves a little too fast or a little too slow for my taste, but either way evolution is like gravity, I can't escape it.

I have a funny story of a co worker.  He is a chef in our kitchen.  He is from Mexico so his English is sometimes a little off.  He always asks me to correct him if he is saying something wrong, but today he said something that I want to adopt.  Pancho is his name.

Pancho:  Tara...how are you?

Me:  I am ok.  Same old, same old.

Pancho:  Oh...same kaa-kaa, different toilet, eh?

Me:  (laughing hysterically)  Yes, Pancho.  Same shit, different day, but from now on it will be different toilet!

Pancho:  Different day?  That is how you say it?  Different day?

Me:  Yes.  Different day, but I like your version better, so don't change it!!!

Pancho:  Ok.  (Pancho smiling)

I have a feeling this is going to be one of our inside jokes.  I enjoy working with the kitchen crew.  They are funny men who like to work and have fun at the same time.  It is good to be around their energy, they keep it light.  I hope to have more fun stories to come with this crew.  I will keep you posted.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Friday, June 4, 2010

Life is Unfair

Hi Everyone,

One of my biggest pet peeves in the world is being treated unfairly and watching other people being treated unfairly.  Today, we learned at work that one of the owners, Alex, who is the original owner of Vinny's is bowing out of the business, due to another of the owners, Mike wants to make Vinny's Pizza into Rock N Fish Brew.  Mike, already owns 4-5 restaurants and a hotel.  He does very well for himself.  When Alex came up with the idea to expand Vinny's and take the abandoned lot next to the Pizzeria and make it into a Beer Garden, Alex recruited Mike and Dave to help finance it.  Now it seems Alex is being overthrown.  So come July 1st Vinny's Pizza will be Rock N Fish Brew and be corporate.

Now, I love Alex.  He works hard, he is good to his employees, but he doesn't have much business sense.  Mike I see once a week and he is very shrewd and strict, which makes sense to me knowing how successful he is.  Most of the employees are afraid of him and are uncomfortable around him.  Since I worked for the devil incarnate in NYC, Mike doesn't scare me like John did, but I respect the man and keep myself busy when he is around.  Alex runs the place as if it is his home and we are all family, Mike runs it as if he is paying us and we aren't allowed to stand around twiddling our thumbs.  I don't know how I feel about this new development.  I am afraid that Mike's changes will be too much for this small town to handle.  El Segundo is nothing like the beach towns of Manhattan and Hermosa Beach.  The crowds aren't there either.  But, Alex assures us that we are going to make bank this summer.  I think it will be lucrative for anyone working Friday and Saturday nights.

Today, I got to work at 9:45am for a 10am shift.  No one else began showing up until 10:30am.  A co worker even showed up at 11:15am and proceeded to say that she had to be out by 4PM pronto.  Then it just so happened that she got an 18 top table, then a 12 top table, and then ended with another 18 top table. I had 4 tables of 2 people each from 11-1:30PM and then I stood around rolling silverware, cleaning counter tops and anything else I could do until 4PM.  I got really angry when one of my other co-workers who was working inside decided to clock out 45 ahead of time and I had to take his tables at 3:55PM.  I ended up transferring the tables to the new crew.   I wasn't about to waste another 2 hours of my time for another 7 dollars.  My sales for the day were $160.  My co-worker with all the big tables had sales of $600.  I made 20 dollars, I can imagine what she made.  I get p.o'd because at our job we have a seat yourself policy.  I am never able to gauge what my earnings for the shift will be.  I could be the one who gets all the big tables one night and then 2 tables the next.  But it always seems as if I am getting stiffed somehow.  I am upset over the way Alex was given the boot at our restaurant and I believe it is greatly unjust toward a upstanding guy.  I am also upset over the way the sections and the way the seating is done at the restaurant and I am not sure how it can be rectified without over hauling everything in the place.  Come July 1st I guess I will get my answer.  To be continued...

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Dreaming Away

Hi Everyone,

Today was my only day off this week and I went to the library and picked out four more books for the month, plus the movie, P.S. starring Laura Linney and Topher Grace.  I had never seen the trailer for this movie, but I like Laura Linney and it seemed interesting.  I got a lot of stuff done today so I feel a sense of accomplishment.

I find that most days I don't feel a sense of accomplishment.  I usually push things back that I say are important, but don't make the time to do until I have to do it.  It isn't a healthy way to improve my self esteem that is for sure.  I am trying lately to really be aware of how I feel.  What drives me?  What make me tick?   What drives me bonkers and what makes me happy?  I notice lately that I can't stand people in general.  For instance the day before yesterday I had to take a short cut to work, but in doing so I almost got hit by 3 different people within 500 yards.  Thankfully, I was doing 25 miles an hour like the speed limit suggested, but these lunatics were doing double that.  Each of these people were coming to a stop sign and didn't bother to stop or were too much in a hurry and tried to "cut in line".  So in about 2 minutes time I went from being in an ok mood to being aggravated.  And work didn't help either.  Now that I am beginning to get to know everyone in town, I am also getting to see people's true colors and they aren't very pretty.  Most of the men act as if they are 5 year old boys whining because they didn't get their way and the women are crotchety and bitter as if they are 90 year olds in a 30 year old body.  That night was a doozy.  It was the complete opposite of my experience the night before.

I find that I see saw between wanting to settle down and have a family to going through my life alone.  When I think of such things as being alone, it makes sense to me.  When I think of getting married and having kids it seems like a pipe dream.  Which is ironic because being an actor, seems so attainable to me, while building a family seems so unrealistic.  I know I have a warped sense of reality.  One can dream though.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Just Because

Hi Everyone,

So now that I make some money I find that I have begun making lists again.  I don't really like that I have begun this habit again.  It makes me stressed out, or less hopeful if that is possible.  I begin to think "If I just had this amount of money" I could do "this".  I have been looking at a lot of real estate lately.  Mostly townhomes and condos because I can't imagine having a house for just myself.  I get spooked out alone in my apartment at night, so having a house aprox. 1500 square feet or  more just feels like many sleepless nights to me.

Back to my list.  I write down what I need right away, like, food, laundry money, gas  money, bill money etc.  Then I make a list of things I would want if I had a little extra cash for example, pedicure, a new bathing suit, dumbbells, a bunch of DVDs, etc.  Lastly, I have a list of big items, like, plane ticket to go back east to visit, down payment for a townhouse, money for furniture for townhouse, be able to buy a brand new car, etc.  The first two lists I  always have a way that I am going to afford them sooner or later, but the last list is mostly a pipe dream unless I really buckle down and make it happen.  I find I don't usually give myself the time or the patience to buckle down and make it happen.  As I get older I realize the last list stresses me out, more than it excites me.  I would think that visiting family and friends or buying my first property would be overly exciting, but instead I am thinking about how I wouldn't have enough time to visit everyone I wanted, or I wonder how much taxes are on a townhouse in Southern California.  These thoughts are so not cool and are a big party pooper to my lists.  That is why I have decided I hate that when I start making money I start making lists, because I start thinking of things that aren't even a part of my life, just because.  Poop.

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Checking Off My List

Hi Everyone,

So tonight at work I realized how much I enjoy my job so far.  Everyone knows the mundane ritual we all do before work, but as soon as I get to work I realize how much it coincides with the list I made.  Let me digress.  When I worked at Heartland Brewery in NYC the owner of the restaurant was a very unhappy man (that is putting it lightly).  All of the employees hated when he came in the restaurant because he would order things not on the menu and ask for things we would have to search for, while also expected to cater to 10 other tables in our section and adhere to Heartland values.  When I worked at Heartland, I always wondered wished that my sections weren't so big, because I would rather cater to 6 tables instead of 10-12 and give good service.  It was expected of employees to give world class service to a section that could seat up to 40-46 people.  During holiday season in NYC which was from Halloween to New Years Day I would be running, I am not exaggerating, running around giving the worst service of my life and so stressed out with the volume of people that every night I told myself "the money isn't worth it".  The only thing that made Heartland a gift to me was the people I worked with.  I had a lot of fun with them and made some wonderful friends.

I wondered if there was a restaurant out there where I would be able to soak up the sun.  Where I would know my customers and they would come and visit me every so often.  I wondered if I would be able to have a boss that was nice and said hello when you greeted him and didn't do shady bookkeeping.  I wondered if I would be able to do my job but have fun doing it at the same time.  Tonight, I realized I worked a shift at The Beer Garden that was all those things.  My dreams came true.  I have my first real "regulars".  I got to sit down with them and talk tonight while taking care of my other tables.  I had conversations with all of my tables and they even understood when I had to move on to talk to other customers.  I got to work outside in the sun and cool night air.  I work for men that are kind but fair businessmen.  My sections are at most 6 tables, so that I am able to give world class service that goes above and beyond and I don't mind going the extra mile.  I also work with some very cool people.  They come from everywhere, similar to NYC and it makes me smile.  I am very grateful!

Until tomorrow.  Take care and be safe.

All my love,

Tara