There are two sides of me that I war with on a regular basis. There is the creative Tara that loves to act and enjoys the process of being an actor. Then, there is the idealist Tara, who wants to help people on an international scale. They are very different from one another. I have since realized that I volunteer here and there to help quench that urge of working with others. I am jealous of Angelina Jolie, because she has the life I would love to lead.
She is a successful actress, who is also the UN Goodwill Ambassador and works with refugees and focuses on underprivileged children. She also has adopted children and has children of her own. I would want to be married, but besides that she has everything I wish my life would be like.
Today, I began looking at Federal Jobs. I am focusing on California, but I am not limiting my search to just one area. If I get hired and have to go overseas, I would be okay with that. Knowing that federal jobs are difficult and take time to be hired, I am just getting those options out there. I am not going to depend on it. When I applied to the Peace Corps it took me a full year from application to being a volunteer.
I am making sure that any of the position I apply for are for the right reasons. I did learn one lesson from the Peace Corps. I didn't go into it for the right reasons. I learned a lot about myself and I think in hindsight it has been a wonderful experience for me as a grown up.
I love being an actor, but right now I have to focus on living my life and if it means that I have to have a 40 hour job to pay the bills anyway I can get it, I will do that. I did learn from moving out here without a job that, it probably wasn't the greatest idea. So I am going to make this experience a good one. I am going to apply for jobs that get it done. My dream is to be an actor. My dream is to help children in underprivileged countries. I haven't hit the scale of success that Angelina has, but maybe I can do it by being an ambassador first, then an actor. I have got to try.
Until tomorrow. Take care and be safe.
All my love,